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Destroyed a Part of Me
LSD
by W. Barrow
Citation:   W. Barrow. "Destroyed a Part of Me: An Experience with LSD (exp3168)". Erowid.org. Dec 17, 2001. erowid.org/exp/3168

 
DOSE:
1 hit oral LSD (blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT: 175 lb


I tried LSD for the first time at age 14. Peer pressure was the reason for doing so. I was with friends at a party and took the hit. After about an hour I was feeling a bit anxious and jittery and I noticed my visual perception was heightened as well as my hearing. It seemed like I could here someone sneeze from a block away. It was interesting to look at things and laugh at everything.

After about two and a half hours I started feeling really wierd and warm. I was soaked in sweat and started taking my shirt off and pants off in the middle of winter,(i am in canada so it's cold here), without having any sensation of being cold what so ever. I thought the sweat was rain and it felt like summertime.

Then I started feeling very intensly paranoid. Everybody was staring at me and watching what I was doing. I thought my friends were whispering bad things about me. I even thought people in cars driving by knew I was on acid. I was panicking very badly and didn't trust anyone I was with. I felt hopeless and out of control.

I felt like I was going crazy and the feeling or highness was never going to end. It seemed like it was going to last forever. At the time this feeling was the most horrible experience I had ever felt in my life. Everything that I looked at seemed magnified and distored. I looked at my face and eyes in a mirror and panicked because my eyes seemed to be floating in different directions and I could see every impurity and pore so intensly in my skin, and every little sound seemed so intense.(ie, water dripping from a tap). I was fearful, hopeless, nervously shaking and almost called an ambulance to come and take me to the hospital.

I tried to stay calm but everything I looked at seemed as if it was breathing. A curtain covering a closed window seemed as if it was blowing in the wind. Wrinkles on a sheet seemed to swirl around like snakes. I didn't actually see anything that wasn't there, but thing that were there seemed to be moving around intensely especially from the corner of my eyes.

After the trip was over I seemed to be ok. About a month later I was just in the mall to buy a pair of shoes and all of a sudden out of nowhere I started panicking and feeling as if I was on an acid trip. My perception was enhanced, sounds became louder, I felt nervous, uncomfortable and very paranoid. I dropped everything at the shoe store that I was going to buy and rushed out in a panic. It was as if I was running away from something but I couldn't figure out what.

I was too scared to share my feelings with anyone because I thought they would think I was crazy so I lived like this for about two years that I can remember all on my own. Now my life and mindset are more at a relaxed state and I look at my traumatic experience as a lesson learned well. I personally know for a fact that my 'LONG LASTING flashback' was definately due to my previous LSD use. It was not worth the trouble that it caused me and my family.

I don't remember ever feeling negative about anything before and since my LSD use (1 time) , it has destroyed a part of me that is greatly missed. I have become negative and depressed and now rely on 100mg of Zoloft per day forever to keep my mind in a controllable and rational state. If it wasn't for Zoloft I would probalby be dead from suicide.

Exp Year: 1990ExpID: 3168
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 17, 2001Views: 10,903
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LSD (2) : Large Group (10+) (19), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Post Trip Problems (8), Depression (15), Health Problems (27), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)

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