Citation: Dire Wolf. "Lost In a Wilderness of Pain: An Experience with Mescaline (exp31948)". Erowid.org. Mar 17, 2004. erowid.org/exp/31948
Mescaline...just another door into the mind. Pure mystical energy flowed freely from the two pills containing about 350 mg each that I was about to ingest with my friend D. We had seen the movie The Doors, in which they go to the desert and eat peyote. We were both fond of psychedelics, I've taken acid about 100 times or so as has D, I've done shrooms and handful of times, and we had both tried mescaline several times before.
We both bought the two pills from our close friend and then we went out searching for a rental car. Upon our picking up one, we drove out into the Californian desert. Exiting the car, we only carried with us a book bag of water, some bread, and a copy of The Doors of Perception. What a brilliant idea to travel to the desert. Why did we need a movie to give us the idea?
We sat far from our car and ingested the two pills. While we waited for the effects, we sat silently and held The Doors of Perception between us and read. Before we could finish the book, we both threw up violently. It was kicking in.
'If you could find God, would you go to him?' I asked.
'If God were real, then I would. But we're all just pawns on a checkerboard that keeps being reset. When you die, you're reincarnated...so where's God?' D answered. This is the one thing I remember clearly being said.
THe sand stretched before us endlessly...were we in hell, the asshole of the world, were we just on a checkerboard square? We were mad children, playing in the world's jungle gym. We bathed in the golden sand of the Gods...God, what an absurd concept. D was right.
OM...can we find ourselves, or are we lost. Not in the wild, but in out mind. Out here in death valley, we need not fear prying eyes, we're beautiful, radiant beings of light. We huddled together, terrified of the sun god above us. Timothy Leary preached that huddling was as old as people...he was right.
it's so beautiful, look at the stars in the sand. Did you see them, D? I know you can, we can see everything because we share our eyes, our minds, and our souls. For this moment we our one, we are all one...moving on the thread like a needle. We could pierce the cloth of reality, but we might be perceived as obscene. Our actions were obscene, our thoughts, our movements, our very core self was obscene. Until we found unity in the clear light, we were all just obscene. We had witnessed the clear light first hand, when we had taken more than 15 hits of acid.
We could hear the cosmic functioning of the stars that were past our vision...far beyond the crystal blue of the sky.
Did you see the devil just now? Was it a deamon? Was it you? Don't hide behind your demon face.
Everything swirled and melted. Goodbye world, goodbye earth. Let us exist as pure energy once more.
Sleep. Dreaded sleep. Waking up covered in sweat beneath a starry night. We returned home once we found our car the following morning with the bitter taste of reality in our mouths. Experiencing mescaline in a desert environment proved extremely transcendental, so much so that I can only describe the experience in fragmented statements. And that's what it was...a fragmented journey into the wilderness of pain.
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