Euphoria That Was There All Along
PMEA
Citation:   *TM-321*. "Euphoria That Was There All Along: An Experience with PMEA (exp32561)". Erowid.org. Apr 13, 2004. erowid.org/exp/32561

 
DOSE:
100 mg   PMEA
    repeated inhaled Nitrous Oxide
    repeated smoked Cannabis
    repeated oral Alcohol
BODY WEIGHT: 150 lb
A Mystical Experience With a New Molecule

Preamble: I'm a thirty something computer programmer. I weigh 150lbs. Been through the whole mind expanding stage an all other so called 'phases'. I've got a peace sign made up of shrooms and morning glories tattoed on my shoulder with a tribal band that culminates in an 'X' on my bicep. Not to say I've seen everything but I damn sure been around the block a few times. I'm what I would call an experienced tripper. I've ingested marijuana, acid in the hundreds, nitrous, cocaine, mushrooms, mescaline(chocolate), methamphetamine, MDMA in the hundreds, PCP, MDA, ketamine, (heroine, morphine, fentanyl, dilaudid, etc...), ghb, you get the picture? .... , blah, blah, blah ....

Through divine intervention we obtain a substance known as PMEA. This substance is the N-ethyl homologue of PMA, which is a somewhat maligned drug that was sold as X and unfortunately caused a number of deaths due to its heavy stimulative properties. Based on the fact that PMA was passed off as X I went into this experience expecting a 'roll' with the possibility of some uncomfortable stimulative side effects. Thankfully we didnt experience any of the heavy stimulation. Strangely we didnt get anything all that close to a 'roll' either.

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12:00 - After a light lunch we return home and prepare for the festival. Its my cousin an I. Two experienced trippers from the 'old skewl'. We had previously agreed on 75mgs of this unknown chem but a wave of divine stupidity passed over us and we decided on 100mgs. After all it smelled alot like safrole so how far from X could it be?

1:00 - We got a tank (NO2) for the occassion. I hadnt been feeling a thing besides the sick nugs we were smokin so I filled a laff bag and started to pull on it not knowing it would be the last balloon or weed I would feel like doing for the rest of the night. By the time I came out of the nitrous buzz I could feel a serious amphetamine rush. It was MDMA 'like' but not quite the same and was a feeling that thankfully stayed with us for the entire experience. Its very erotic but not on the empathetic level as MDMA but much more sinister and veral. My best explanation is that it was the same feeling I get from smoking the purest glass only on some strange level more complete and content. I cant put too much emphasis on this because I beleive at times this overwhelming euphoria kept us sane.

1:30 - Here is where I begin to realize that I'm in for one hell of a ride. The patterns that started when I came out of that balloon have turned into something much more intense. It appears as though I'm seeing stars. The hallucinations are such that I looked at the sun or a welding arc and looked away. Only thru those flashes I can see thru solid objects such as walls and stairs. Time has now begun to distort and become extremely difficult to track. I realize that I'm about to enter another level and I wonder how this has happened. Is it real? This was supposed to be like X? .... Complete ego loss follows ...

2:00 - The infinite loop begins. I'm now stuck in this nearly catatonic state and I keep walking up and down the stairs in my apartment. Down the stairs to sit on the couch then up and flop down on my bed. Then downstairs again. Over and over again I did this. While I was in this infinite mental loop I realize that I'm not sure if I'm even alive. 'Me' has ceased to exist but yet I'm sill lucid.

As I walk up and down the stairs the strangest effect begins to manifest itself. It was as if my point of perception was moving forward and backward a few instants in time. This made it seem like I was passing forward and backward thru my own body as I was walking. Throughout this every time I would begin to panic I would get an amphetamine rush and I would be able to settle myself down. I began to become aware of what I can only describe as a 'presence' there with us. I looked over at my cousin and hes laughing uncontrollably.

This went on for probably about 2 hours when for some reason I decided to walk into a walk in closet outside the pattern I had been pacing. It was then that I began to come out loop and the initial mindfuck. I walked back downstairs and noticed the NASCAR race we were watching was over. Thank goodness time is still moving forward an I am indeed here and eventually I will come out of this. They were in the victory lane celebration and I was watching the champagne spray when it hit me ..... BEER will fix this!

~ 4:00 - Here is where I believe we hit the true character of this substance. We were both on the way down from the initial peak and we both began to drink some `stones which further helped to bring us down a bit more and take the edge off. At this point we can communicate with one another again and we start to have to most fun I've had in a long while. The amphetamine driven euphoria that was there all along becomes alot more noticable at this point. Its overall feel is somehwat MDMA like but not dependant on conversation or empathetic experience to drive it. Very nice waves of this euphoria sweep over my entire body as I sit there. At times this is so intense my whole body trembles. A feeling of what I can only describe as omnipotence begins to set in.

I feel godlike. The 'presence' is still here and begins to make itself known to us. This is where the full blown spiritual part begins. I realize that we are in dire need of a 'ground controller' and my girlfriend is overdue on showing up. I attempt to use the phone and its hopeless. My mind is way to blown to even use a phone and I cant even see the display due to hallucinations so I give up quickly.

~ 5:30 - Me and my cousin are sitting on the couch watching this e-hollywood story on Christina Aguilera now. We are both incredibly lucid at this point. We begin to experience the exact same hallucinations. Now I've only had this happen to me one time ever and that was on mescaline and it only happend one time that night. This happened over and over. Something happens on the TV such as visual effect and we both would look at eachother with a divine understanding and laugh hysterically over the absurdity of it all.

I realize after a while that Christina Aguilera is indeed an evil alien sent from another planet to seduce us. I attempt to change the channel and I cant. I say out loud 'God we dont want to watch this bitch anymore we get your point'. We both laugh out loud at this. I walk up to the reciever and turn it off but to my shock and horror the TV continues to play. We both look at eachother with confusion as we realize there is no power to the reciever but we are still BOTH watching TV complete with picture and sound. I look from my cousin to the receiver in disbelief. For the first but not the only time in the next few hours I make the statement 'this is not real'. At this point an none to soon my girlfriend arrives. We both breathe a huge sigh of relief that a sober person is here.

~ 6:30 - My girlfreind is also an experienced user and sits down to watch us. We all exepected something closer to MDMA and she asks the golden question at this point as to why we appear to be trippin our nuts off. We of course have no answer to this but attempt to convinve her that although it isnt much like MDMA we are still having a blast. Its at this point that we begin having a conversation with the presence. It seems whatever we say
Actually happens. At least we percieve it to be so.

For instance we discuss the wind and it blows. We say 'see we are gods WE ARE IN CONTROL' and as if mocking us the presence immediately makes is stop blowing. We remark on the weather 'at least it was a nice day' then the wind blows feircely and I look outside and storm clouds are gathering. Really weird shit. My girlfirend can barely stand us and leaves several times in frustration. She later confirms that some of the things we were seeing were indeed happening and claimed it was disturbing to her. The whole 'controlling what we are seeing' 'we are godlike theme' complete with the euphoria persists for hours and hours. While it was a little intense for my taste I found it to be a huge epiphany overall.

~ 10:30 - At this point we have consumed enough beer to be in a beligerant drunken stupor. However the effects of the amphetamine were still persistant and we were still awake. I remember feeling that strange interaction that seems apparent when youre observing someone that is rolling and drunk at the same time. My girlfriend later confirms that we were looking and acting similar to that. Not pretty. At some point I drank so much unfortunately I blacked out so I cant very well describe this point in the trip. Sorry but my mind was a quivering blob and the beer was my saviour. I fully beleive I was still feeling the full blown effects. At some point I passed out fully clothed on my bed.

10:30 the next morning - I awake all at once. I look around and to my dismay I still feel the effects of the substance. The 'presence' is still there. I'm a person that has to use their brain alot with work so this is a little scary for me. I imagine this lasting for days and I dont like it. My girlfriend calms me down and I smoke some weed, drink a few beers and
Pass back out.

2:30 the next day - I awake again. Baseline.

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Conclusion: First of all I want to say that despite its hallucinogenic intensity, which I normally dont seek out, I thouroughly enjoyed this experience. I think that we took far more than what I would now beleive to be the target dosage range. I'm eager to try another experiment in the ~60mg range where I beleive the euphoric effect will remain with less of
The 'trippy'. I beleive that those that are more likely to seek out the 'trippy' stuff will be very pleased with this substance at this dosage level however I'm one that leans more towards a more controlled experience such as MDMA and even MDA so I will not take it again at this dosage level. As mentioned I didnt get what I would call more than normal stimulation. I did break into a heavy sweat during the 'infinite loop' but other than that it was the same as any roll I've done maybe even less so.

I've never done PMA before but I will say I dont think this substance could ever be passed off as MDMA. Its a wonderful experience but MDMA it is most certainly not. Being and ethyl it was expected to be less intense than PMA but I dont think this could be. If I took this as MDMA at a club/party 'limecat would not be pleased'. I certainly wouldnt redose as is rumored with the deaths. For these reasons I think we may have a 'wildcard' or an anomaly with this material.

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Well what was it like?

I know Ill get this and I will attempt to answer it although my best answer is overall it isnt like anything I've ever done. The only way I can do this is to split up the parts of trip.

Euphoria: I already covered this. Very nice and intense Hallucinogenic amphetamine rushes throughout. Much like MDMA but as mentioned before much more personal and maybe even introspective. Like .. Well like MDMA rush but pointed inward instead of outward.

Erotic: At one point I looked at my girlfriend and she was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen. Her face appeared more feminine than ever with pronounced cheekbones and deep penetrating eyes. An aura of multicolored energy was all around her face. Profound. Divine. I started to get aroused but I was so lost that I quickly became distracted. This is one of the main reasons I want to dose lower. I'm eager to explore this aspect further and I beleive I can at a lower dose.

Headtrip: Mushrooms. The only other substance that has ever had the spiritual punch that this had for me is shrooms. This is coming from someone who has shrooms tattooed on their arm.

Hallucinations: Started out much like LSD but transformed quickly. During the controlled hallucination phase they were PCP like in their realism but without the disassociative aspect. They were almost like the waking dreams I've had after coming down from taking far too many beans. Again though they were different because we were so lucid.

Thats the best I can do there.

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Had I had been a less experienced person this could have gone very wrong. On the flip side this substance could have huge potential as a tool in a psychological situation. It was very personal and introspective while the pain associated with personal discovery was absent.

Th Th Thats all folks ...

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 32561
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 13, 2004Views: 838
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PMEA (849) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Mystical Experiences (9), First Times (2), General (1)

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