Citation: Tiziani attosI. "High Dose Consciousness: An Experience with Ketamine (exp3282)". Erowid.org. Dec 24, 2001. erowid.org/exp/3282
Recently I went to Mexico for a journey with my wife and, having heard of it, we searched for a 'Farmacia Veterinaria', where ketamine hydrochloride is sold over the counter. I finally found Anesket, a 1g/10ml bottle produced and sold in Guadalajara, about 21US$. Because of a stupid error (I'm usually very scrupulous with my experimentations) in translating lbs to kg, I failed to calculate the correct dose and we started with about 2mg/kg (nearly surgical dose!). During the day we took some multivitamin B pills to increase the resilience of brain cells under dissociatives (William E. White: http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/dxm/dxm_health1.shtml).
In a little hotel room, after my wife's strong trip, I was a little scared, also 'cause I had never taken drugs by injection and the rapid onset was something unknown to me (I had been working only with LSD and mescaline). She injected 130mg in my bottom. The injection was slow (±30s) but painful. After a minute I lay down on the bed, with the window closed and only a little light behind me. I started a profound and regular breathing pattern. The anaesthetic effect came up slightly (10s or less) before the psychedelic one, but after three minutes it was all like an explosion and I couldn't distinguish the two phases very well. I kept my speech and eyes opened during almost all the process although I was nearly dumb and blind in the 3 to 5-8 minutes after the injection. On minute two I noticed that my wife's little movements were too much for my endurance in this state and I told her to lie with me. Then started the hallucinations.
1. The incredible part of the experience wasn't the visual distortion (on minute five my sight was so disconnected and scratched that I didn't even realize I was in the room) but the overwhelming kinestetic hallucinations. I told my wife that I was becoming an insect. I felt clearly my breath and my body as if I were in an insect body, even my long, long and thread-like fingers. Then I realized more precisely I was a mantis, an atheist mantis, as my wife heard me raving.
2. The embryonic phase (near-birth experience): I felt me and the surroundings like an egg. I was penetrated within the room. I thought that if I pissed, my pee would fell directly into the toilet. I felt well, very well. I recovered my sight with an extreme fish-eye 8mm lens focus: all was in a circle, I didn't recognize the room yet.
3. The coming down, after half an hour, isn't essential to describe because it is equal to a ketamine high at lower doses, as I read from other people's reports. The funny thing is that at a certain moment I really went to the bathroom with the aid of my wife and I felt like the floor was vertical and I was climbing despite the gravity. In two hours and a half after the injection I was sober.
My second experience, about six days later in Mexico City in another little and cheap hotel room, was too much for my expectations from ketamine. We agreed (wrongly!) that the previous dose was a sort of baseline from which we could start for further explorations. I decided for 3mg/kg!!! She injected in my gluteus nearly 200mg. The pain was so strong that I started the experience with a negative mindset. After two minutes I was thrown with violence into a realm of flesh and vegetables that was moving like a complex circuit of gears dismembering my body: yes, I FELT (and not imagined) my body REALLY dismembered (i.e. the head kilometers from the left arm, the legs other miles away, etc.) by gears of flesh (not metal) and liquid fruits (like indian figs) that I saw clearly streaming with my organs. I felt the presence of my wife like she was tripping with me (she wasn't). I felt the threatening presence of a big, ugly, fat woman that was observing the dismembering process like she was the master. I was hearing a continuous waterfall noise. I was in a state of incredible delirium, as my wife tells. I said disconnected sentences. I finally said: 'Other dimension'.
Then I saw CLEARLY, like everyday reality, a place where I went with my parents when I was ten, in Arles, France. But I was there fourteen years later, with a bright crystal cup of milkshake (???!!!). My wife says that I said: “I drink a licuado in the plaza de toros.” From that moment the bad trip finished and I came down with calm. I even felt the curtain in front of the bed like it was 2cm over my nose, liquid, organic and I told my wife: 'This curtain is full of cunts'. The rest is 'ordinary' psychedelic experience. Two hours later I tried to piss, and I saw my body about 1 meter tall (I'm 1.80m). Four hours after the injection I was nearly normal.
Very interesting experiences and quite different one from the other, but for the moment it's enough. I don't know if in the future we'll repeat these overdoses or we'll try with standard (1-1.5mg/kg) doses, but currently we're taking a pause and working with Amanitas. Excuse the tenses, I learned English my way!
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