Take a Survey on the use of Breathwork
for Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, or PTSD
Researchers at Johns Hopkins seek responses to an anonymous survey on breathwork. You can participate whether your breathwork experiences helped or not.
(Must be 18+) Take the Survey!
My Whole Life Was Being Watched
Salvia divinorum (leaves)
by SpiritGuide
Citation:   SpiritGuide. "My Whole Life Was Being Watched: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (leaves) (exp33177)". Erowid.org. Nov 18, 2007. erowid.org/exp/33177

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
2 hits smoked Salvia divinorum (leaves)
  T+ 0:05 2 hits smoked Salvia divinorum (leaves)

BODY WEIGHT: 10 kg


For three months now I have been on Venlafaxine (Effexor XL) for depression which was mainly caused by stopping smoking Cannabis on a daily basis (for the past 4 years). I felt that my medication was not working and sought for something different (and legal!) on the internet. This is when I first discovered Salvia Divinorum. Having read many, many experiences by other users and the safety guidelines, I decided to mail order 1 oz of dried leaf.

When the time was right (My parents were out - I still live at home) I opened the window of my room and drew the curtains leaving one small lamp lit in the corner. I have a really good sound system in my room and I couldn't imagine trying this experience without music because I love it so much, so I put on Peter Gabriel's Passion at a fair, but not loud, volume. I then loaded the bowl of a homemade bamboo cane pipe (short-stemmed) with a generous amount of leaf. It was then that I thought 'Should I have a sitter present?' because I had planned to take this drug alone. I then shrugged off my doubts and reassured myself that I had read so many reports of this drug that I would just lie down and experience the effects on my own.

However, nothing could prepare me for what it actually felt like, but I decided I would not take too much to start with to find my 'level'. I was using a normal lighter despite what I had read about having to use a torch lighter, and I lit it and raised the pipe to my lips and inhaled the harsh smoke holding it deep in my lungs for 30 seconds. By the time I exhaled I could feel something was happening, but I marched fearlessly on and loaded another bowl, fumbling somewhat as I could already feel my body twisting and was slightly disorientated. I then took the second hit and held it in for another 30 seconds, exhaled, made sure the pipe was out and lay down.

My first thoughts were that I could sense myself in a way I have never done on any other drug, it was totally introspective. My body was twisting into the carpet, my hands becoming part of it. I looked around me and saw my speakers and furniture melting and shimmering slowly, whispering to me to lay down and sink into the experience. Then I remembered something I read, visuals are better when eyes are closed, so I closed mine. The music was coming alive to me, colours, beautiful colours and patterns were appearing before me. The music was the patterns. I can't explain it better than that, it was so beautiful it was beyond words.

It faded after about five minutes and I remember thinking 'Too soon!', so I repeated my above smoking technique, this time packing a little extra in for good measure. Almost instantly after laying the pipe down I melted in the floor. The music now became part of everything, part of who I was and I understood the eternity of sound, there will always be sound and I in turn became eternal like the sounds I was hearing. I cannot stress the sense of ego-loss enough. I wasn't me anymore, I was simply a floating consciousness, lost in the expanse of everything. This did not make me anxious however, in fact I didn't feel any anxiety at all in the entire experience. I felt safe. I felt I had respected the plant and that she was teaching me as a conscientious student. I am definitely going to become a regular Salvia smoker, I can tell that already, being a very spiritual person myself, I know that this plant has much to teach me, if only I will treat her with respect. I plan to increase the level of dose tomorrow and see what more the Sheperdess can teach me.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 33177
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Nov 18, 2007Views: 5,841
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
Salvia divinorum (44) : General (1), First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), Alone (16)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults