DOSE: T+ 0:00	450 mg	oral	DXM	(liquid)
T+ 2:00	270 ug	oral	DXM	(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

On Tuesday night, I took 8 oz. Of Robotussin Maximum Strength Cough. Got even more motor weirdness than the last time. After about 4 hours, my brain felt like it was fried and the general feeling was a combination of LSD (enhanced mind stimulation, unreality), Ketamine (slurred speech, floatiness, motor impairment), Ecstasy (euphoria), and alcohol (decreased ability to communicate, lack of inhibition). The shifting, dizzy visual field was present in the beginning, but faded after a while. Great difficulty walking and going to sleep. Two bong hits during the trip didn't seem to have the usual weed effects. Hangover the next morning. Enjoyable, but not special.

Thursday night was quite a different story. I took 5 oz. of Robo, and then 2 hours later I took 3 oz. of Robo. In theory, this should have been a weaker trip, but I turned out to be wrong (possibly there was some cumulative effect from the Tuesday trip, but I don't know). After ½ hour I felt goofy and light. Then I went with two friends to a library. It was difficult for my eyes to focus on anything. I found every comment that anyone said funny. I felt goofy, but also a little bit paranoid. I smiled at these two people uncontrollably. I saw another friend and had a brief conversation about acid, spiders, and DXM. My speech was slurred, and continued to slur the whole night.

We returned to person X's house, where I took the remaining 3 oz. of Robo. People and comments were becoming very unreal. The paranoia was heightened to the point where I wondered whether passersby were friends or enemies. This was not like acid paranoia, though, because I felt generally pleasant the whole time. I was not able to blink very much during this time, and my friends said I appeared glassy-eyed and distant. I was scaring them, and yet I was having a good time.

Pretty soon, I got the sensation that my brain was 'fried' (this is just how I felt - not a statement about reality). I was feeling crazy or insane. I read too much into what people were saying. I felt like Robert Deniro in 'Taxi Driver', when he was staring at the pimps in the restaurant.

We went to visit a friend at a hotel. Very mild hallucinations started. They were very different from LSD hallucinations in at least two ways. 1) LSD hallucinations exist side-by-side with waking reality (as far as my experiences go). DXM hallucinations are more like vivid recollections. 2) LSD visuals seem very 2-D, in retrospect. DXM visuals are very much 3-D; so 3-D that they seem 4-D. It's almost like wearing a virtual reality mask. For some reason, I imagined that my friends and I had gone to 7-11, but they said that was not the case.
My friends and I returned to the house.

The DXM had shifted gears on me. I drifted into another world. My thoughts became a hallucinatory field. The visuals could be interrupted by another person's speech, but only briefly. I kept jumping from the real world to the Dex world and back and forth and back and forth. One of my friends said something about Japan. I said that I had always considered Japan as a part of the West. But then I wondered: 'Why did I ever think that?' I was struck by the fact that it was all bullshit and conditioning. All the bullshit that I had ever been fed came to me in a rush of clarity - I could actually see the bullshit. My friend talked about the process of conditioning, but I only caught fragments of her speech and occasional glimpses of her face. The hallucinatory field was almost total now.
In the Dex world, I saw myself as a bird. I was flying rapidly from South America to North America, seeing all of the countries as they actually were (although there were more trees present than exist in reality). I saw how my conditioned views were far different from reality (this thought has occurred to me many times before, but on DXM I could actually 'see' the effects of the conditioning. It was quite emotional, as it all came to me in a rush. As a bird, I was uninhibited by artificial, political boundaries (sin fronteras). I could see how powerful, and yet how arbitrary, borders were. I was amazed.

I went into my friend's room in total awe. I was completely uninhibited, and I told her that I felt comfortable sharing my soul with her. I was struck by the fact that I am so afraid to tell people what I am really thinking and feeling in everyday life. My friend and I talked for a while, but I don't remember what we said. I just remember feeling very excited and euphoric (slightly similar to Ecstasy). My friend had an angelic aura about her that I could clearly see.

Soon, I left my friends room. All the nerve endings in my body felt 'fried' or maxed out. Thought came out semi-automatically, and did not require the usual processing. Indeed, processing became impossible. Everything just flowed. I was truly amazed by my experiences so far, because I had only planned on getting fucked up; I didn't expect these psychedelic revelations. But the best was yet to come.

When I turned the lights out, the most amazing thing happened. All pain seemed to leave my body. The hallucinatory field became total. I saw the frontal lobe of a brain suspended in darkness. The folds of the brain separated into 3-D cubes that slowly rolled forward in unison. I was gliding on the cubes, and yet standing apart from them at the same time. Each cube contained an image - a memory of mine. When I saw a particular image that caught my eye, I could focus in on it and re-experience the memory. It was as if I had total recall of everything I had ever done, but somehow I could control which memories I recalled and which ones I didn't. I truly thought during these moments that I had seen my entire soul, heaven, and God all at the same time. This is strange, because I don't believe in God or heaven; and I believe that the soul is a set of biochemical processes, not separate from the mind.

I went outside to smoke a cigarette. As I looked up at the sky, I could recall perfectly my third acid trip - not just the visuals, but the feeling behind it. I felt god-like in my revelations, and yet I also felt more human than I have ever felt before. When I re-entered the house, I felt a sense of total joy, peace, and love. I was so excited by what I had seen, that I told my friend all about it. She said later that she had never seen me so excited. I told her that as long as we both shall live, that we should never, ever forget that I had just seen God.

I went back to my bed, and closed my eyes. The visuals returned. The most memorable was a blue flame that was coming toward me. It was not a burning flame, however, but a cleansing flame. Soon afterwards, I got the distinct sensation (and visual to go along with it) that my 'soul' was leaving my body. I walked to the kitchen to get some water. As I was in the kitchen, I thought I had left my body behind. I want to re-emphasize that I was still could not understand how I was even capable of rational thought. The 'insane' feeling, however, had passed. As I returned from the kitchen, I saw that my body was not lying on the bed - I guess I hadn't left my body after all. But it felt so real. I was so full of joy, it's hard to describe.

After this point, I decided to get some sleep. The comedown was gradual. No hangover in the morning. I felt completely refreshed the next day. It had been one of my most fulfilling experiences ever. As pleasant as it was, I had no immediate desire to repeat the experience. I remember how my past acid binge had been a failed attempt to recreate my first four amazing trips. I think I will Dex again, but always in moderation and with Olney's lesions in mind. God lives in a bottle of cough syrup. Wow!

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 3351
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 24, 2001	Views: 34,791
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DXM (22) : General (1), Mystical Experiences (9), Various (28)