Citation: Jonny. "'Have You Ever Been in Love?': An Experience with Cocaine (exp33831)". Erowid.org. May 7, 2007. erowid.org/exp/33831
||(powder / crystals)
Me and my bro Dylan have always busted out new drug experiances together. I got him into smoking weed and drinking and since then we've done Psilocin, DXM, and Percocet.... Uhh, thats all I can think of right not, my brain still isn't working quite normal yet.
So it was like 10:30 and we deicded to go see if some of our friends want to join in, but when we got there one of them had to leave and the other didn't seem too interested, so our night was set: We split a gram of cocaine between the two of us. It was 11pm and neither of us had ever chopped up any powder, but I had watched some of my older siblings do it, so we decided that I would cut the lines for us tonight. Since it was the idea of my frined to get the coke, he went first. After I had chopped one rail, he bent down to the mirror, examined it, then with no hesitation, away he went.
I watched him as he squinted his eyes very immensely and when he opend his eyes, his eyes were filled with water and they looked very irritaed. I could tell he was getting cheesed by the coke. Before I could say anything, he was like, 'Pain...But not unbearable..' I watched him for a few minutes before I started chopping my own line. He was acting normal for awhile, but then he started squeezing his pillow and said, 'Hugging this pillow is the dankest sensation ever.' After that, I couldn't wait to see what he was feeling.
As I started cutting up the coke, I saw him lean over me in the mirror, and I told him how big his pupils were getting. So he went over to the other side of the room where there was a mirror on the wall. He seemed facinated by his pupils fluxuating in size. Before he was done studying himelf in the mirror I had finished chopping my own rail. I told him that I was 'Saddeling up' Then, he came over to watch me.
I was very nervous at first and I examined the chopped cocaine cautiously for a bit then I deceided that no matter how long I studied it, it wasnt going to be any easier. I've had some bad experiences with things getting up my nose and buring like hell, so I wasn't took keen on the idea of intentionally putting shit up there. As soon as I felt it go past my nasal passage, I could feel the burn start. For a second or two it was easy to tolerate, then the pain gradually becage to gor until it was at a verry irratating burn that was making me squint, and my eyes water just as it happend to Dylan. Within a few more seconds, The pain was gone and burning I had just experianced seemed like a good feeling.
Right then I felt -what seems to be the same discribed the same every time- a feeling of greatness. I felt blissful and nothing could bring me down. Now we were both very excited and euphoric. The feeling of moving was great so we decided to do another half rail, then ride our bikes to the school that is about 1/4mile away. As soon as we got there we just sat on the swings and started talking, and talking. And talking.... And talking. Well, we talked literally(besides for snorting lines and bathroom breaks) non-stop until about 6am. I remember being at the school talking and asking Dylan, 'Have you ever been in love?''No' He replied. Then I proceded to tell him that that was the best way I could think of to discribe the feeling.
We headed back towards his house, and got there around 12. I remember getting off of the bike and shaking alot. I couldn't stop the shaking, but It really didn't bother me at all, in fact, Dylan mentioned to me that he did enjoy the shaking feeling. When we got into the house, we both walked straight into his room, sat in the most comfortable place we could find and talked for an hour and a half, when we snorted another line each at 1:30. We continued to do a line every hour and a half, until we had both done 4 and a half lines, when we finished the last of our supply at about 4-4:20am. After that we decided to go back to the school again and hang out. Throughout the night I felt happy and numb to any else than happyness right after I snorted a line and the feeling would be compltely faded out within 20 minutes, and after that I would just feel sort of jittery and exited, but I was very in control of both feelings.
When we got there the sky was still dark, but it was just begining to get ligher outside. We stayed out until the sky was very-well illuminated, then started to head back to his house. We had walked this time, and on the way back we saw some people we knew from school. We talked for a minute or twane and exchanged stories of what whe did the night before. Then we comleted our way back to Dylan's house and got thurr at around 5:45.
We left Dylans house one last time at 7:30 and again returned to the school. This time instead of playing, I sat down and thought. I felt really shitty from not sleeping or eating for so long and so we just sat down and kind of lookd at our lives. I finaly realised that I couldn't just do drugs all the time and nothing else like I was. Even though I already knew this, it never concerned me before until that day.
I've always had those sort of self-reflection/self-examinations when I was coming down from mushrooms, and I had never heard of it happening on cocaine. At this point it was the closest thing I've had to a 'next day' afer the drugs, even though there had been no time to fully recover. Dylan mentioned to me a few times that he would be saying something or in the middle of a train of thought and the thought of cocaine would pop into his head and he would want some right then. I did not feel this, nor was I worried about Dylan having thses feelings because I've heard of this happening most of the time but dose not mean addiction.
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