Citation: miskatonical. "Sexual Journey to Angkor Wat with Insects: An Experience with Virola (exp34828)". Erowid.org. Jul 7, 2004. erowid.org/exp/34828
Where to begin. I eagerly smoked....not really expecting all that much since I had done a much lower dose of a related drug about five days before and thought I still had a tolerance. I was wrong.
Pharmaceuticals taking at the time: Neurontin, which is an anti-epileptic/anti-bipolar drug, which hasn't interfered much with tripping before except to possibly dull the experience.
Setting: a dark living room with industrial music coming from the stereo.
After smoking one bowl of virola I was sort of high but not really breaking through to the experience, so I loaded myself up another one and started to puff away.
It worked. I started staring at my venetian blinds and the spaces between the two blinds turned into vaginas here and there. The room felt like it was becoming circular and waves of white shimmering color started washing over everything, obscuring my view. I looked up above my blinds and slowly saw the stucco turning into sets of large eyes complete with eye lids appearing and disappearing, but not very strongly outlined or defined.
But the real show started when I closed my eyes, after the music stopped.
Before I closed my eyes I started getting a few strange sensations, one, which happened a little bit before, was that something was pulling me, another one, one better defined, was that I was starting to see huge structures like temples appear in the room.
When I closed my eyes the colors and the pulsation which had been going on in the room accellerated greatly and multiplied in geometrical form, eventually shapes became visible, which I saw to be vaginas and other sexual things...I had a sense that whatever out there, which was many things, were all having sex with each other...and they sort of taunted me about being repressed.
A few things happened then which I won't get into, but I managed to integrate an experience of sex magic into the mix and after the climax of that things started to get really weird.
First, I had the sense that something with a thousand eyes attached to stalks which was part of a plant was right in front of me trying to make contact, then it extended its flowers down into my body and, after I let it, literally crucified me through the back with a stalk....I merged with the plant and became a plant and an animal no longer..
I regained consciousness with the sense that an insect, like a praying mantis, was in front of me trying to make contact and introduce this strange traveler to his world. In front of him was a chorus of plants and sentient insects singing, I asked something about god and was shown a stone city like a combination of Angkor Wat and the Aztec temples where the stones were sentient.
After having the mantis vision fade away I had a strange vision of a monolithic stone creature with a single eye in his forehead...literally a conscious stone monolith, square, looking at me.....then I suppose he led me into the stone city of the gods and showed me his god, which is indescribable.
After seeing his god I was flooded with personal questions to me questioning my humanity, urging me to give it up and become one with the insect and stone universe, and verbally said yes, I can do that. Constant assaults on my sense of humanity, saying that I was weak and repressed and that reality was in fact evil and that this was good. I agreed with them, having thought along these lines myself. Constant attempts to prove that humanity didn't exist and that we were just variations on plants and insects, that there was nothing else, that the sense of human nobility was a lie and that viciousness and plant world brutality was the norm of life. They didn't meant this like 'Go out and do bad things' it was more like a philosophical statement.
Tried to convince them to give me something to hold on to that I could remember which would allow me to access this in human form....then percieved my face and head reduced to the hard lines of an insect form with the insect form being the true underlying structure..
More experiences......said they robbed me of my honour, robbed me of my innocence, they replied 'Good', and made me admit that, yes, I brought this assault on my 'self' on my self and asked for it.
Finally asked if I wanted to stay with them...actually this was earlier, I said 'No, I have a body', and then went back and started regaining consciousness, whereupon the whole 'rob me of my honor' thing started to happen.....made me feel like Judas selling out the world.
'Are you Satan?' was met with the reply 'Satan is your idea, we are the reality'.
Regained consciousness after two hours, or an hour and a half total, didn't come back to normal fully until three hours after I started this venture.
I have to report that it was an overwhelmingly good trip. You see, the kicker here is that I'm a Left Hand Path person, and all this anti-humanity not only didn't scare me but was right up my alley.
Later reflected...hmm...this was sort of like seeing what H.P. Lovecraft envisioned. Wow.
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