Citation: Netrunner. "She Is a Vicious, Jealous Woman: An Experience with Caffeine & Various (exp34867)". Erowid.org. Nov 3, 2004. erowid.org/exp/34867
Caffeine is a vicious, jealous woman.
Sugar is a silly two year old, thrilled with the short-lived novelty of dizziness. Take me for a spin! Again! Again! Again! Until either stomach contents or metabolism lurches to the ground catastrophically. Caffeine prefers to slowly burn through stomach linings and metabolisms, insidiously disrupting homeostasis for days at a time.
Alcohol is a jolly, old, lecherous Santa Claus, with a twinkle in his eye and a belly full of laughs. He puts you at ease and lulls you into oblivion until the morning after, your presents unwrapped, reality unveiled, the joke's on you. Caffeine is not jolly. Caffeine is deadly earnest, with no room for joy. Caffeine takes herself too seriously, adding a sense of urgency to everything, from the bathroom to beyond.
Marijuana is an exotic seductress, satisfied enough spending one night with you at a time, stopping time if necessary in order to entrance you with her long, slender, enchanting tendrils of smoke. Caffeine is never satisfied, always pulling you back for more, digging her claws into your body and your brain, depriving you of restful sleep for as long as she possibly can.
Ecstasy is a gentle, soothing mother, caressing you with a looong slooow kiss goodnight. She makes you feel good about yourself, she makes you wake up content. Caffeine makes you wake up feeling like a freshly captured caged lion, looking for anyone or anything to slash out against, until she makes her kill and courses through your bloodstream once again.
Mushrooms are playful mountain fairies, teasing you and tricking you at the same time they are teaching you. Mushrooms open your eyes up to the community of life and the eternity of time, and at the end, they quickly say goodbye, often making you doubt they were even there to begin with. Caffeine is not about play. Caffeine is about work. Single-minded, brain-numbing, repetitive work. Pay attention! Work! Harder! Longer! Caffeine is the drug of incessant progress; the patron drug of corporate empires, assembly lines, and long-distance transportation; the high-voltage AC current of developed human society.
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