DOSE:	repeated	smoked	Methamphetamine	(powder / crystals)
	repeated	insufflated	Methamphetamine	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

I first found tina when I was 19, in my Sophomore year of college. My boyfriend at the time found a hookup in town, and I woke up one morning to find him in the kitchen smoking off it like a junkie. I tried it, felt an unbelievable rush, and spent the rest of the day dancing and hanging out, smoking more and more until the half a gram was gone.

After this first experience, I wanted more. I made friends with people that I knew who did it, and they willingly provided. I always did it on the weekends, when I would go to parties over three hours from my apartment. I used it to come down off of E, because I wouldn't notice a crackout from the E if I was speeding my ass off. We would afterparty after we left the clubs until Sunday afternoon and come home, doing bumps anywhere we stopped to keep the high going. I usually wouldn't quit until late Sunday night, sometimes staying up through the night and going to class on Monday, still speeding. My roommates and I would sit up all night playing cards and passing the bowl around, not stopping until the morning when one of us had work or school.

I went on like this, smoking and snorting glass Friday night until Sunday night for about 8 months. Late Sunday nights I would begin to hallucinate, seeing shadows/people in the corners of my room, and fog in my bathroom. Thats when I knew it was time to lay down and go to bed, where I would lie for a couple hours before falling asleep for the first time in several days.

During this time, I lost about 20 pounds, my weight would fluctate, but being a small girl (about 130 normally) I was a sack of bones and pale skin by the time I came to my senses about what I was doing to myself. My boyfriend was abusive, and I would cover the bruises and go out without him, doing more and more glass to keep myself from thinking about what he would do when I came back. I started selling to support my habit, I had quit my job because it interfered with my habits and my boss always questioned my weight loss. I guess I justified it to myself that if I was doing it for free then I had no reason *not* to do it.

In March, I broke up with the abusive boyfriend and started dating my dealer. Then one night, after a night of hanging out at his house and partying I fainted due to fatigue and malnourishment. I woke up several hours later and drove home with a baggie tucked in my sock. I spent the entire next day smoking that last baggie. I felt like total shit for the week after, I couldn't keep food down, I couldn't concentrate, I snapped at everyone that I came in contact with.

When I was moving out of my old apartment, I threw away everything that had to so with glass. The happiest moment was throwing away the pipe, knowing that I wouldn't be able to go back and try to scrape a little last residue off of it.

I haven't done it in over a year. I still get cravings, like a hand twisting in my gut to this day, but I know that I can't go back. I never should have started in the first place. Meth seemed like a good escape at the time, but looking back, I got myself into a hole that I still haven't fully recovered from.

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 35531
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 17, 2007	Views: 7,758
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Methamphetamine (37) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Hangover / Days After (46), Retrospective / Summary (11), Not Applicable (38)