Citation: Palendrome. "Speechless Inside the Music: An Experience with 5-MeO-DiPT (exp35847)". Erowid.org. Jul 6, 2006. erowid.org/exp/35847
This is my first experience with 5-MeO-DiPT. Y and I had been planning this trip for a while, and have positive anticipations. We are good friends, affectionate with each other but not sexual partners. It is a weekend, and we have no pressing concerns the next day.
We partake of the drug in Y's room, with a large bed to relax on. I am taking 14mg, she is taking 15mg (but is somewhat heavier than I), both in capsules washed down with water on a moderately empty stomach. It is a quiet night; few of her hallmates are around. The following is what I managed to type under the influence (and coming out of it), corrected only for spelling and punctuation. The square bracketed stuff was added later, to clarify things.
T+0:00: Here we go. Cheers!
T+0:20: Y and I are hanging some [purple string] lights. Still at (+/-)
T+0:56: Very slight queasiness. The start of a floaty buzz, as a lot of caffeine will sometimes do.
T+1:02: Definitely some effects: Lots of moving around, and typing feels a bit strange.
T+1:05: The energy has kicked in, and stuff is starting to feel weird.
T+1:10: Oh so tripping. I can't really type any more.
T+2:57: Still too hard to type very well.
Aha. One reason [I've made] no report [for a while]: The way I am thinking now seems to be like how I have old, old memories of thinking without words. That's why it's difficult to talk about this experience: there are no words. The music tends to eat my whole mind.
Words are a mind function that takes so much focus right now. Oh: T+3:20. I bet that's important.
There's so much space inside every sound.
[During the intervening time, Y and I took a walk in the rain.]
T+5:24 Definitely coming down, but words keep combinding [sic] in odd ways. Twendinows. Wenbelpsness. Can still get pleasantly lost in music.
T+6:46 It's much easier to type now. I still have some effects of the drug in my system, as the typing still almost feels like I'm doing it automatically, without thinking about it---but I'm making a lot more typos than normal anyway. I can function normally if I need to, I think.
Might as well take this time while coming down to try and describe what the peak was like. It's hard, because there were literally no words during the peak of the experience--the drug had to some degree taken over the verbal centers of my brain.
The other side of it was all of my senses (and perhaps even my verbalness) curling up and becoming *one thing*. I could sort-of sort them out if I tried, but if I just let go and went with it sight and hearing and feeling and everything else just blurred into one ball of sensation, which was in turn embedded firmly in the music. The music became the space my mind existed in, and my mind became the music.
It was very beautiful, and at times quite scary. I think I lost my anchor in physical being for a while, and just existed as part of the music.
Especially with my eyes closed, the music was a space I existed in, which I could navigate without vision. The experience was what I would assume would be visuals for another person, but for me it was just like my hearing was extended by a few dimensions.
[I got to sleep by 6:00 AM or so, after Y and I made pasta and chatted a bit with some of her hallmates who had since returned from other escapades. I experienced little or no hangover the next day; perhaps a little bit of lethargy, but that could also have been due to the lack of sleep.]
Now that it is a couple weeks later, there are a few reflections I want to add. First of all, during the trip I didn't really write much about how tactile sensations were affected. The effects were quite pronounced. A barefoot walk in the rain was quite nice as I was coming down, and gravel did not bother me. At one point Y and I tried to give each other massages; it felt quite interesting, but when I was working on her I couldn't tell accurately enough how much pressure I was using. Throughout the trip there was a kind of body feeling I associate with orgasm (see the log above), or perhaps the feeling of melting into the bed one sometimes gets right before falling asleep.
I did get some amount of visuals: colors were brighter, and at one point the mostly drab rug seemed bright pink-red with a green dot in the center of each strand, but on the whole the visuals seemed to be peripheral to the experience.
The 'scariness' I talk about above results from the way I think. I am a very verbal person even in my internal thought processes, and 5-MeO-DiPT drastically altered my verbal ability to the point that, during the peak, I could 'not hear myself think.' I could still talk, but it took effort and the internal representation of concepts switched to being either nonverbal or a 'verbal' that has nothing to do with English, and was either remembered from before I learned language or made up on the spot.
Even now, it is odd to call what I was doing 'tripping,' or the end of it 'coming down.' During the trip, these especially seemed to be the wrong words for what I was doing. I knew the concepts, or the 'words' for them, were floating around in my head somewhere, but they were unpronounceable anyway. I also knew what to call them outside my head so other people would understand, but those words seemed incorrect.
On the whole, though, I had a good time. I truly enjoyed what the drug did to music, and found the sense/nonsense words in my head quite amusing after I had either come down a little bit or learned to think around it.
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