Citation: Lucifer. "Watch Your Dosage: An Experience with 5-MeO-DiPT (exp3598)". Erowid.org. Nov 3, 2000. erowid.org/exp/3598
This is my account of my third experience with N,N-Diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine. I hope that others can learn from my experience. I have experimented with a wide range of mind altering substances over a period of 12 years. This was many times more intense and frightening than anything I have experienced. I'm not here to tell you not to expand your mind, only to use caution and good judgment so you can have a positive experience.
I don't know exactly how much I ingested. My best esimate is probably twice the recommended dosage, or about 40mg. I measured this out after drinking several gin and tonics. That was my first mistake, the mistake which ultimately led to endangering my own self as well as others around me. I ingested it at about 10:30 p.m. and then proceeded to a friend's house so he could put on his costume before we proceeded to a costume party. By the time we arrived at the party, about midnight I was feeling pretty good. I had an intense feeling of euphoria and would have had difficulty carrying on a conversation. I was still in full control of my faculties though and proceeded to enter the party. Inside I was met with several rooms of varying themes, both visual and aural. I was having a great time and couldn't imagine any place I'd rather be. But then slowly, things started going wrong.
The first irrational thought I had was when I began to think that several of the guests were collaborating on deciding who could stay at the party and who could leave. Several times I found myself mysteriously by the exit sign which seemed to change direction at random. I would head back into the middle of the mayhem only to find myself exiting again.
Everything from this point on is not fact, but is a relation of the events as I interpreted them to be unfolding that evening by my own account.
Suddenly, I realized. The 'collaboration' of these 'chaperone' guests was for the purpose of not letting guests remain who were not in an altered state of mind. Therefore, when I came down I would be expected to leave. Of course, I didn't like the idea of this and at one point thought I had even been '86'ed for not being high enough. I stopped to ask a guest, who seemed to be one of the chaperone types who was in charge, what I needed to do to stay. I said I didn't want to leave. They seemed to know what I was talking about. I then got it in my head that as long as I kept turning away from the exits and going towards the center of the building, I wouldn't have to leave. The only condition was that each time I entered a certain room I would be given more substances which would cause me to get even higher. I even believed this was happening, even though no one physically administered anything to me nor did I ingest anything else. At this point I was pretty gone and my mind was starting to make things up.
I was on the dance floor and I started to bump into people. I wasn't trying to but I had lost my equilibrium. Then it seemed as if everyone's attention was on me, which is probably true. I realized that they were welcoming me to join them. I had somehow reached an elevated state of consciousness and being that all these other people belonged to and I truly believed that I would never return to the state of mind I had possessed a few hours before. For lack of a better analogy, I had entered a Matrix-like world where nothing was real. I had left behind my world and become part of a collective mind which all the people at the party belonged to. They had only been waiting for me to break through mentally and see what was going on so I could become a part of them. I said 'I'm here' as I stepped outside the building into the rain and knelt on the ground. I said 'I'm with you now.' I heard someone say 'It gets harder and harder to get them to come over to us', reaffirming what I already believed.
I was told that I would live forever and have all the answers to everything I had ever wanted to know about the past, the future, creation, the beginning, the end. I was told there were no prisons where I was now and there was no war. I remember thinking that I had reached another state of evolution of the human race, one that was unknown to everyone else except for those that had reached it. Slowly they began to impart knowledge onto me about all the questions I had in my mind. I remember yelling 'fuck!' with incredulity. They said they had to take things slow because I wasn't ready to possess certain knowledge. I told them I was ready and would take it as fast as they could give it to me. I wanted to know more, faster than anyone before me had. I began to dance with joy.
Next I heard people say that nothing in this world was real now and I should prove it to myself. At that point I jumped through three-foot flames into a pool of water that was part of a prop for the party. Why? To prove it wasn't real of course. I ran towards a chain link fence and dived at it, knowing that if I believed it wasn't real, I would sail right through it. I didn't. I thought to myself, 'be careful, this world still does have boundaries to respect.' I no longer had to worry about work, money, relationships, the law, countries, borders, right, wrong. None of this existed in my world. I asked those around me what I did to deserve all of it. I felt I was in some sort of heaven. I ran down the street past cars that weren't real. I saw a police car that wasn't real.
For a period of time I won't try to estimate, I stood on the side of the road next to a police car, a couple of police officers, a fireman, the friend who had come to the party with me and a couple other concerned guests of the party. At this point I was no longer bound by my physical body. I re-entered the party at will. I went to tropical islands when I felt cold, I went to the polar regions when I felt hot. In my new state of consciousness I learned that there were no languages now, no knowledge that was not known to all. I would think everything Einstein had thought and know all that any scientiest ever had known. I travelled into the past to my old neighborhood. I came back to the present. I went to a tropical island. I came back to the present to see my friend and the other concerned guests and police officers. I had mathematical computations flying through my head, e=mc^2, atomic bombs, heaven, hell, the monolith in the movie '2001: A Space Odyssey'. All this knowledge was being imparted to me by my new fellow beings. I was going through a new type of adolescence, maturing mentally all over again.
Now it gets really weird. In order to gain all this knowledge, I would spend all my time reliving the experiences of every person who had existed before me. Only I would have a choice. Just as I left my body for a tropical island when I was cold, I could relive the type of experience I wanted to live whenever I wanted to. I could go back to my childhood or someone else's. This was what I had the power to do now. Then the ambulance showed up.
No problem, I didn't mind getting in an ambulance because I knew it was just part of the entertainment of my new found existence. Why not go for an ambulance ride? I got in and that's all I remember until I woke up in the hospital. I was lying on my back, cold and wet. I saw a doctor who I thought was a teacher I once had and began calling him by that name. I recognized everyone it seemed as having been someone I had already known somewhere at some time in my life. I don't know how long I'd been out. I asked a nurse what time it was. That was the first time I actually came back to reality. She told me it was 4:45 a.m. After remaining another hour for observation I was released and called a cab to go home. I didn't know why my clothes were wet. I couldn't remember what happened to my friend at the party. It was only the next day I began to piece things together.
Apparently I assaulted my friend at one point and also grabbed a girl around the neck as if trying to strangle her. This is the hardest for me to accept since I am not at all a violent person by nature unless acting in a defensive manner. Maybe I felt threatened, I don't know and don't have any excuses. All I know is that I completely lost touch with reality and very much regret all of my actions that night. I didn't think anything like this would ever happen to me. I would never be the guy that thought he was Superman and jumped off a building. Thankfully there were no tall buildings around that night because I honestly don't want to think about what may have happened.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.