Citation: Florida snowman. "Starting to Get Its Claws in Me: An Experience with Cocaine (exp36251)". Erowid.org. Apr 25, 2019. erowid.org/exp/36251
I have been using coke now of and on for about 2 years. I had tried it previously in high school, but it was so expensive and in my small town, I just couldn't get it.
By the time I turned 19, I had stopped all illegal drugs, and remained off them for 3 years. Not that I was out of control before that, But I had just moved out on my own and started college, so I was skiddish to say the least. Most of my friends at the time were clean outside of beer and smokes, and most of my old friends from back home all became law enforcement!
But I digress:
After my college graduation, my roomate and I had more time to hang out, and seeing as how we had nothing better to do, I made a call and got a quarter of some pretty good weed. We smoked on it for about a week. During the last of our bag, we began to discuss past experiences, and cocaine had come up. Having some spare change from graduation gifts, we decided to get an 8 ball (3.5 grams) to use over the weekend. We had girls coming over quite a bit, and they seemed to love it. The ball lasted about two days for us, and the crash wasn't extreme. We just drank beers, and eventually fell asleep in front of the television. So it began (I understand how cliche that is).
That was one and a half years ago, and I don't have any horror stories, save my finances. Unfortunately, I must have coke at least once a week now. And of course, a gram will never do. I need at least an 8 ball for myself a night, or I'm crashing and craving so hard, I shake. I don't shoot or freebase, nor do I smoke crack.
Regardless, the high isn't remotely close to how euphoric and amazing I used to feel on two small lines. Also, $120 to $200 really has me binded at bill paying time. It's like Pavlov's dogs in a sense; I get my paycheck. Paycheck is cashed at the bank. When I get that $100 in my hand, I get the crave.
It's automatic. I get to the house, call my connection, and he's at my door in 20 minutes. I use my whole stash in a night, and I always contemplate getting more, but I realize that it won't do ant good. Thing is with coke, is that once I peak, that is it. I can maintain that for a couple hours if I keep doing it line after line, but when it's gone, there is no getting it back. I maintain feeling normal with the rest of the blow, chasing the high. The more I do, the less time it takes to wear off.
As I type, I am doing lines off my little mirror. I've been on now for about four hours, and I doubt I will sleep tonight. But I will be at work tomorrow. I might save a little to get me through, seeing as how I work overnight shift. Regardless, at this moment, as I am coming down, I could not explain why I spent the money I did tonight. Worthless drug. It is the best drug in the world and the worst, all at the same time.
My best friend happens to be a functioning coke- head, too. We were talking the other night about stopping. I hope to finish this 8 ball, lay in the bathtub and read a magazine. Then we will try to quit. This will be my first time trying to quit a narcotic, and I failed at quitting smoking. If you read this, please wish me luck, or pray. I wanna get a handle on this before I really screw up my life. Thanks for reading my post!
God Bless You All!
P.S. - Be SAFE!
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