Citation: Dave. "My Love Hate Relationship: An Experience with Amphetamines (exp36477)". Erowid.org. Oct 18, 2006. erowid.org/exp/36477
I first tried Dexamphetamine after I went to my shrink convinced that I had ADHD. I started on a dose of 20mg a day divided in two doses, one in the morning and one dose in the afternoon. For the couple of months it was amazing. I could suddenly do all the things I hated to do. It was as simple as popping the pills and then actually wanting to do the things I hated such as studying, reading, chores- anything.
As I got used to the drug, so did my tolerance for it. I went up to 30 mg a day and eventually I was popping well over 20-5 mg tabs a day. I would just pop them like mad all during the day and be totally off my face. I am married and would end up bullshitting to my wife and go out all night doing stupid stuff spaced off my head. I lost so much weight and was wrecking my family life, but still my love for dexamphetamine would prevail. I love that feeling of being 'Dexied up' and would walk around sometimes in the city all day long just high of my head lying to my family about what Iím doing.
Sometimes I would find a seat in the shopping centre and sit there for hours and hours spaced out. I would take them every day and then to sleep bomb myself with sleeping tablets, wake up and do it all over gain. I hated myself, but still couldn't resist my secret love. Many times I was so spaced out I would hear voices, see imaginary things etc coz I would go without proper sleep for so long and stay awake artificially.
I havenít had any Dexamphetamine now for three months but I will always love them and be addicted to them. Sometimes I remember a few of the adventures I have had on this drug and it makes me smile.
I will always love dexamphetamine and I'm gonna try and control myself and try it again. I want the benefits without the consequences. In my mind I know I have more chance of screwing up then doing it right, but I will always have a secret place in my mind and heart for this drug.
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