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Painkiller Addiction and Withdrawal
Hydromorphone, Morphine & Methadone
Citation:   Rivethead. "Painkiller Addiction and Withdrawal: An Experience with Hydromorphone, Morphine & Methadone (exp36650)". Erowid.org. Oct 1, 2016. erowid.org/exp/36650

    Opioids (daily)

I have nothing against drugs. Just overuse.

I fell into the trap of the opium bliss. I had used drugs for many years in moderation, even heavily at times but always smart enough to avoid a serious dependence.

I started with morphine. Small doses IV. Casual use. Then I moved to a bad city, bad economy, lots of crime/drugs. Then I discoved hydromorphone (dilaudid). started 4mg IV hits for a while. Then it became a regular thing. Then I needed more. I'd buy 8's. Then 2-3 8's a day. Then I'd mix them with oral pills. Before I knew it my tolerance was sky high. I could and often would do much more than 100mg of dilaudid a day. I IV'd 200mg morphine easily, which would kill a non-tolerant user.

When I didn't have the money to get a fix I'd get sick. SO sick I couldn't function. At all. I would crap my pants if I stood up too long. Vomit. Shake. Seizure. Go mad. Racing thoughts. Living hell. And it goes on. And on. and on. Wishing I never tried IV drug use 1000 times. I had thoughts of suicide daily. Thought of robbing drugstores.

I worked very hard to get into an over crowded methadone clinic. The doctor kept upping my dose. I was on 180mg. No cravings, no thoughts of much drug use at all. The methadone was making me sweat HEAVILY daily, shake in mornings. I couldn't tell at times if it was hot or cold.

I have had clean urine tests for a long long time, so I pickup at a pharmacy now.

But now there's the problem of the methadone. It shouldn't be prescribed forever, that's just keeping you addicted, half sick and unable to work.

Now I am trying to quit. The ironic thing is Methadone is the hardest one to quit because of the way it builds up in the body, making the withdrawal potentially worse than heroin if it was cold turkey.

Now that I have matured the past few years and have no desire to repeat this hellish long lasting crippling ordeal, I am left with the task of quitting the methadone to live a normal life as its like a ball and chain. I am down to 150mg now. Going doing 5mg at a time.

The side effects are hellish at high doses. I can't wait to be free of this man made opioid. Hell, I might have to resort to the old pills to come off this methadone.

And the moral of the story is.
Moderation is the key. And once an addict, I don't get high anymore, I just need drugs so I don't get sick and can become mobile. Don't fall down the same trap. Drugs can be good. Drugs can be fun. But they can also take my life away.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 36650
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 1, 2016Views: 2,863
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Opioids (407), Methadone (166) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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