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Big Mother is watching me
by Catfish Rivers
Citation:   Catfish Rivers. "Big Mother is watching me: An Experience with 5-MeO-AMT (exp3671)". Mar 2, 2001.

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6.0 mg oral 5-MeO-AMT (capsule)


Recently I have moved back home to my mother's house after having lived on my own for 6 years at Rutgers U. Now my mother is the type of person who worries herself into oblivion, biting her finger nails, smokes cigarettes incessently, etc. She once told me that when she was my age she was,'offered to try the pot.' The pot. But she didn't give in to curiousity, god bless her soul. So anyhow, you can imagine for yourself what kind of reaction she would have after discovering her oldest son had been ingesting 'experimental research chemicals.' She would go nuckin futz!

Being home has certainly forced me to adapt the nature of my ethnogenic experiences. The two biggest problems I have run up against are: 1) Unless I want to spend the whole day outside wandering around the children stuffed neghborhoods, I wait until after midnight or so to start the experience. So, I am usually not well rested. Often times, I am counting on the energy component of the substance to pick me up; the other bump in the road to rapture is the underlying tension of my mom waking up and trying to interface with me. I've already had to speak about religion (my personal version of god vs. her Roman Catholic LORD ALMIGHTY). Needless to say, that sort of interchange is undesirable to the max (yes, to the max I said!)

So, it's 10:36 according to my digital alarm clock. I had measured out the 5-MeO-AMT, 6mg into a gelcap, earlier in the day. So the pill is down the hatch and within an hour and a half's time I feel my first alert. A slight energy change, hard to pin down but it is certainly there. For the next hour, the feeling gradually rises higher and higher until a warm rubbery feeling pervades my temples. Perma-grin has also set in. My thoughts are also chemically induced. On the Shulgin scale I would say a ++ at this point. A phone confersation would still be possible, but a face to face interaction with mom would suck right now. So, to give myself an excuse to be anti-social and not watch Walker Texas Ranger with her (ugh.) I telephoned an ex-girlfriend who remains close with me. The conversation was going very well, yabberring on about Robert Anton Wilson, the Golden Dawn, work (She works at an apothicary pharmacy and I'm a social worker with schizophrenics and borderline personality disorder folks) So, I prefer to stay off this topic while under the influence. Crazy behaviour is contagious sometimes. It can be a liberation to go entirely screwdi da ploodi, but I can do that at work. Here I just want to do some good ole metaprogramming dude...

Anyhow, as we were chatting a slow rising nausea began mounting. Soon, anything I was sensing with my eyes or ears or even touch was creating a distuirbance in the force. Suddenly Mt. St. Helen was erupting. In a gargly sort of gasp, I tried to explain that I had ingested research chemicals and need to purge. I think she understood me. After vomitting pure stomach juice (no food), I laid down. The nausea was being a bitch and wouldn't scram. I decided to puff some Elvis (the king of weed) to counter balance things. That certainly helped stabalize the nausea, but I still needed to lie down flat.

So, I put on Olivia Tremor Control and some Mogwai and, turn on the groovy lava lamp, lit some aroma therapy candles and set myself on autopilot. My new puppy was lying next to me. I felt exstatic about his being with me. I could feel his heat against my body, a sensation that grew very intense until I had to shift him to the other side of the bed to alleviate the heat. Visuals were present at this point as well: the walls were breathing again, these collages that I made were moving. There were strange geometric shapes moving in and out of my perception. Mostly dark blues, reds, violets, and a dark yellow. I was emotional very happy as well. The nausea however never left me (oh so faithful). The rest of the trip consisted of petting my dog, studying his markings on his fur (he is an Australian Shepard and looks like the RCA Victor dog if you dropped him down a chimney), and just generally trying to space out at will.

I would start to be able to superimpose the 'daydream-esque thought images from within my head' into the air space in front of me. Like the holographic image or Princess Lea in Star Wars. I revelled in this half dream state for about four or five hours. I then noticed it was getting near time that my mother would be rising to go to work (it's my day off). I pop some Hydrocodones (two tabs 2.7/275 mg). The dreaminess got dreamier as the hydros kicked in. Soon I was nearly asleep when I started to visualize some Indiana Jones like scene in my mind. I was standing in a tunnel of some temple. There were these oversized spiders everywhere. I could feel them eyeing me suspiciosly. Suddenly, I felt some bump into my leg. I made a yelping sound, woke up only to find my puppy sleeping between my ankles. Spider-puppy. Anyhow, I laughed. I was still tripping at 9:30 am. Somewhere there abouts I drifted off to la la land. I woke up at 1:30 pm feeling quite fine. Everything still had a Technicolor sheen to it. Autumn is a great time of year to trip.

Several days after the trip, I wonder if I would have had the energy to dispell the nausea had I taken it earlier in the day, and at a safer feeling location. Big Mother was watchin me. I enjoyed this material, despite maternally induced paranoia.

Exp Year: 2000ExpID: 3671
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Mar 2, 2001Views: 18,574
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5-MeO-AMT (104) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Health Problems (27), General (1)

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