Citation: Zazaz. "I Don't Care: An Experience with Clonazepam, Alcohol & Tobacco (exp36766)". Erowid.org. Jan 11, 2008. erowid.org/exp/36766
Me and a friend (I'll call him Flute from here) were hanging around in our little town in Sweden and doing nothing. The sun was shining and the summer were getting closer, and the urge of just sitting in a park and drink beer under the sun were getting stronger and stronger. It had been a long cold winter and I couldn't wait for the warm inviting summer.
After we had been to 'systembolaget' (the place were they sell alcohol in sweden) we met some older friends. I didn't know them well back then and still I was a little sceptical of being around them at that time of the day. They were those kind of people that doesn't have the best reputation often called alcoholics.
Well, after all we went home to one of them and drank a few beers. Both me and Flute knowed that one of them were a strong abuser of Iktorivil, Diazepam and Flunitrazepam. So we asked if he had some that he could sell. After awhile we get about ten pills. I started with one to see what would happen. I didn't know much about benzodiazepines at that time, still I had read some about them, and I really thought they would be something for me.
At first I felt a bit disorientated, some kind of anguish were crawling under my skin almost as I feel when I have smoked alot of pot. But I guess this was just because of the fact that I was sitting with two alcoholics in the middle of the week and eating pills. I guess I couldn't take that.
About half an hour later when I was in the bathroom I found myself very relaxed. I took one more pill and chewed it carefully. The taste was incredible discusting. But after a few glups of beer it was gone.
At this time I felt very comfortable, the only side-effect so far was the strong lazyness in my limbs and muscles. But at this time I wanted to go out from his apartment, and so we did.
At this time I had swallowed one more pill, Now I was really messed up. Just to walk felt like a life-task if you know what I mean. I felt like a marionette on my own without the ropes. I fell everywere. Still this felt quite funny. There was nothing in the world that could have scared me at that moment. I was the strongest man alive. I didn't really cared about anything. Nothing felt important, still everything felt funny in some kind of way. The total freedom from anguish and fear was the highlight of the whole experience. And I'm a very neurotic, paranoid person normaly.
(T+190-220 min ??)
Me and Flute were taking of from our older friends and headed for a party with our regular friends. At this time we had bought a bottle of Vodka that we had finished. Everything was really fucked up. Well, at this moment my relation with time ended and there are alot of gaps in my memory, but I'll do the best I can to get a picture of what happened next.
Well, we came to the party, now I know that it was a bad idea to go there. Well, that's not the case anyway. When I got in people were looking at me and laughing. Some in a 'What the hell is he doing' way and some in a 'Oh my God, he's totaly wasted' way.
And they were so right. But at that time I couldn't understand it, I couldn't understand anything eccept that I wanted more beer and that I wanted to sit down and smoke a cigarette. I don't know but I think I swallowed one more pill at this time.
I sat down in a couch and relaxed. I guess I relaxed a little to much. I tried to place the beer on the table but missed it with about one meter. Everything were sooo sloow in my head. I could hear people talking about me and with me, but I couldn't care about them. I just wanted to smoke my cigarette. When I stub out the cigarette I missed the ashtray and did it on a walkman instead. People were screaming to me that I was doing something wrong. And yes, they were right. So instead I did it right on the table.
After that I started to dream with my eyes open, not those kind of dreams that are full of emotions and happenings. Just thoughtless, empty dreams. I couldn't tell reality from dream, and to be honest I didn't cared. My conclusion is that Iktorivil is a very strong and truly sedating benzo.
After this experience I have tried some other Benzodiazepies like Diazepam, Flunitrazepam and Xanax. But my favorite is still Iktorivil. It's really the kind of stuff that helps me get away from the anguish. Still I think it's a cheap shortcut that can mess up things for you if you do it to often. And now I don't use it at all. Not more than an ordinary psychonaut would do LSD.
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