Citation: ScumOfAmerica. "What It's Like: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp37373)". Erowid.org. Feb 10, 2008. erowid.org/exp/37373
The subject of this report will be a period of about two days without sleeping. I had used speed before but was forced to stop which was fine, though I still craved it. Awhile later I got invited to my ex-dealers house (real nice guy) to hang out, and we all know what that means.
It was about midnight and I left the house to go to A's house. I got there and he and B were smoking a meth pipe. I sat down and it got passed to me. I'd never smoked meth before, so the pipe was pretty foreign to me. It took me a couple times to get the whole melting process down. So I hit the pipe and blew the smoke out fast as they told me to and almost immediately I felt good. I had the feeling that everything was perfect. So it got passed to me again and I took another hit, and another after that. That's when my hair started tingling. It was actually a nice feeling, but eerie. The very top of my head would tingle, almost as if I got shivers from an open window, but it was actually hot in the room. It didn't bother me at all, in fact, it was somewhat amusing. I purchased some speed, just a little, and left.
At this time I was feeling extremely good. My mind was convinced that everything was as it was supposed to be. I had good feelings toward mostly everything, and the things that I didn't have good feelings toward were small things like acne, cat hair, etc. I was always smiling and thinking about everything. I arrived home and went quietly upstairs to my room. I knew I wasn't going to sleep at all, so I stared at the ceiling and just thought about things, and analyzed them. I do this on most any drug, it's like a form of meditation to me. To be alone in my thoughts to sort them out and let myself know where I stand right then in life.
Later that same night (technically morning) I went back over around 2 a.m. B had left, but A was still there with some stuff. He put on some ambient music and he pulled out something I had never seen. It was a meth bong. It was similar to the pipe in that lighting it was the same, but the apparatus was different. Well, it looked like a bong, you know. So we passed that back and forth. We each took about five nice rips off of it. And what followed was amazing.
We then accidentally broke into an extremely in-depth and involved conversation. Conversations rocked. We talked and talked about everything, and since I didn't know the guy too well, I learned a lot about him. Words just flowed from our mouths, it was how it was supposed to be. Talking actually felt GOOD, and that we were talking about serious stuff was even better. The music blended in perfectly. So far, the effects were fine. My hair still tingled, but since we had so much more than before, I became still. Really still. I was still aware, but at one point I realized that I hadn't moved my legs since I sat down about an hour and half before. I moved them and it felt awesome. We were still talking, talking our heads off.
Then we decided to take a line each, so he generously laid out a line for me (a big one too, remember that I'm not experienced enough to tell what an average line is, it's different for everybody). He crushed it up and I took it. Argh! It burnt like crazy, but that's how you know it's working right? After it stopped burning (30 seconds or so) I finished off the line which just a little. I felt what they call 'fucked up'. I wasn't shaking or anything, which I found strange, at this much I thought that I'd shake, but nope, I was actually really relaxed. So I sat back in the chair and he took his, and we continued talking, though I was a bit more disconnected from the conversation than before. At 4 a.m. I finally told him I had to leave. I set myself a curfew to make sure I get home before mom woke up. So I say bye, tell him thanks, and leave.
I head home, feeling great. Just a tiny bit paranoid about mom being awake, she wakes up easily, but it was unlikely. I arrived home to find her asleep and crept back up to my room where I called A and told him how much I appreciated the conversation we had, because it was really good and...real(kind of ironic). Once again, I stared up at the ceiling and thought about everything. Time went by so fast, which was fine. At 6:30 my mom came in and I pretended to sleep. We had to go to the gym. I was able to keep calm and talk slowly which sometimes can be hard. The workout was fine, and back home we went where I was to get prepared for the school day. When my mom was in the shower, I thought that it would be fun and interesting to take a line before school, so I did. This was my mistake, but I learned from it.
What happened is that I got to school and immediately started talking to everybody. All my friends knew I was strung-out, but I didn't tell them what on. I was in class and wouldn't stop talking. I ended up giving a kid a little bit of crystal, probably because I didn't like the idea of it being in my pocket (it wasn't the bag I bought, I separated just a little). Also, it made me feel better mentally, the fact that someone else was on speed at school. So finally my first class went by without anybody important noticing my condition. My pupils were a little dilated, but I didn't care.
The next class is where things went wrong. I got an unexplained paranoia. I completely stopped talking and didn't want to start back up again. I knew I had nothing to worry about, and I kept telling myself that, but I just couldn't help the feeling. It was like a mix of depression and paranoia. No more smiling or anything. My voice became really monotone and not to mention the whole fucking time I had been biting the tip of my tongue, making it red and sore. I doubt I'll do it before school again. Maybe it was the people. I don't know. But it was no good, and it made me cranky.
My mom picked me up and I tried to act happy. I was talking fast and stuttering, but forced myself to control it. I had a long trip ahead of me, we were driving south about three hours. I was in no mood for a car ride. The best thing to do in a situation like this is to put on some good music on headphones and lie back and caaalllmm down. So it was.
Through all of this I learned a pretty good lesson. Speed is great, but I gotta have the right setting and people. I can't just throw chemicals into my body and expect my body to not freak out. It's all about my mind, which is like a small child, really hard to control sometimes.
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