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Am I Drunk or Am I Dead?
Alcohol & Cannabis
by Newbie
Citation:   Newbie. "Am I Drunk or Am I Dead?: An Experience with Alcohol & Cannabis (exp3805)". Erowid.org. Dec 26, 2001. erowid.org/exp/3805

 
DOSE:
  repeated oral Alcohol - Hard
    repeated smoked Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb


I've always been a really good girl. Before my junior year in high school, I never drank alcohol and I certainly never pictured myself smoking weed. I worked at a restaurant with a lot of varying types of people. We had a Christmas party and I decided to go with my friends. It was really blizzardy that year and I remember that we were packed like sardines in the back seat of my friend's car. Everyone met at the restaurant before driving to the bowling alley so that we could eat some of the free food that they made for us.

I was fighting with my boyfriend over his addictive marijuana habit and when we walked into the restaurant, I knew that he had been smoking with his friends even though he tried to deny it. I just sat there in stony silence, angry that he had betrayed my trust. My friend had mentioned something about smoking some weed and I decided that I had to be in on the action. When we went out to the car, my friend rolled a joint and started to pass it around. We sat in the parking lot and finished off the joint. Only myself and two of my friends chose to smoke. We left for the bowling alley and on the way I noticed that the friend sitting next to me was sipping on a cup. I asked what was in it and he told me that it was straight gin. He asked if I wanted a swig and I said sure.

I was feeling a little bit different from the weed, but I've heard that it doesn't affect you that much the first few times that you smoke. I took a deep gulp from my friend's cup and I almost choked on the contents. The alcohol burned my throat and mouth and I wanted to throw it back up until my friend handed me his chaser, a packet of Capri Sun. When we got to the bowling alley parking lot, my friend rolled another joint and when we were finished smoking it, we went inside.

My best friend's little sister was there and she had a drink in her hand. I swiped it from her and took a deep gulp, realizing much too soon that this concoction was half Powerade, half alcohol. She just looked at me as I took two more swigs after that. She asked me if I was trying to get drunk and I said yes. I'd never been drunk before and I didn't even think about being hung over or anything. I wasn't prepared for it and I hadn't eaten anything at all that day. I just knew that I was mad at my boyfriend and that I wanted to forget everything for one night.

By 11:30 I was feeling very light headed. We were glow bowling and so the room was very dark. There were pulsing lights and lasers and there was incredibly loud music. I remember standing on a speaker with M and singing along with one of my favorite songs and dancing. Me, dancing! I was shy...I still am shy. But I was dancing. I had long ago reached the point where I was decently buzzed, but midnight, I was positively wasted. To make matters worse, I kept going outside to partake in the smoking of a joint. I must have gone out four or five times, after a while, I just lost count. I don't smoke cigarettes either, but I went through about half of M's pack.

I remember one moment very vividly, I asked my friend Deb for her lighter and I realized that I was practically slumped on the table. My voice sounded like I was talking with my lips closed. My eyes were reduced to slits. I realized that I looked ridiculous and that I should stop. That's when I felt nauseous.

The nausea hit me while we were still in the bowling alley. I threw up everywhere, it just exploded from deep inside of me. I was running to the bathroom and I remember vomiting on the carpet. The lights slanted and seemed to want to hurl me to the ground. I made it to the bathroom for another round, only this time, I really had nothing left in my stomach. I was dry heaving and it hurt so much. I remember looking into the toilet bowl and seeing green (that was the color of the last Powerade that M and I had shared) and wanting to vomit again. I blacked out over the toilet and was revived by my best friend (L) only to find my hand hanging in the vomit and water. L was crying and I was just laying there on the floor. 'I want to sleep' I said repeatedly. I didn't know it was bad to pass out like that.

They made me leave the bowling alley and I sat outside in the cold with my boyfriend (J) and L on either side of me. When my head dropped, they made me get up and walk the length of the plaza that we were in. I threw up on J's shoes. My manager came out and gave me some 7UP to try and settle my stomach. I threw up on his shoes too. I felt bad. I kept apologizing. I told my boyfriend that I loved him a million times. I hugged him for what seemed like an hour before I left and tried to kiss him (which is disgusting when I think about it now) and he just pushed me into the car. I cried for a minute and then tried to focus on my breathing. I couldn't see anything and my neck felt completely loose. I couldn't lift my head. My arms were plastered to my sides and my legs felt like rocks.

The only good thing about the ride home was that I got the front seat. I remember rolling down the window and hanging my head out and throwing up. Then I turned to my friend R (who was driving) and told him that I had just puked out his window. I blacked out after that and didn't wake up till I was trying to walk through L's house to her room. I passed out on the floor and didn't move all night.

THe next morning, I woke up and wanted to vomit. I held it in because her parents had been asleep and didn't know what happened and I was embarassed. I had to work that day at 4 in the afternoon. I got up at 12. L told me to eat, but the sight of food brought bile to the back of my throat and I refused. All day at work I had a headache and I was really slow. Looking at food and getting nauseous was bad in my line of work, but I made it. That night, I collapsed in my own bed like a ton of bricks.

I recommend not drinking to get wasted. It's not fun to wake up with your head splitting into a million pieces and constant bile in the back of your throat. Make sure that you have time to rest the next day...make sure you eat! DRY HEAVES SUCK!! Don't drink if you're depressed because it only makes you want to drink more and drink it faster in order to get rid of that empty lost feeling that you have inside. And pace yourself. That's all the stuff that I didn't do. But I've learned.

Exp Year: 2000ExpID: 3805
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 26, 2001Views: 20,892
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Alcohol - Hard (198), Cannabis (1) : Overdose (29), Difficult Experiences (5), Various (28)

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