Citation: Chretien. "My Consciousness Membrane: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (5x extract) (exp39695)". Erowid.org. Mar 31, 2008. erowid.org/exp/39695
The Following is a letter I wrote to a friend.
I've been experimenting with salvia lately and it's been blowing my mind, so I知 gonna rant to you about it and let some of the energy build-up steam off. Full outta body experiences, by far the most powerful little piece of plant material I致e come across. Other beings, where they are I知 not sure though, but the feeling of a very definite, separate dimension/reality. There's a membrane of some sorts that separates these dimensions. It separates the physical dimension from a conscious dimension, more like pure consciousness without the physical load (body). I feel my consciousness pushing through, squeezing almost, and out of my body. It's quite intense. And what even freaks me out a little more is after these experiences I start reading more salvia experiences from other people and they often describe a membrane-like thing as well, that separates these realities, etc. Strangly similar, perhaps a perception of the kappa opioid receptor.
Anyways, on the other side there's these beings, kinda elf-like, and very joyous and celebrating whatever. I should say they feel elf-like, because the visuals that I see are beyond my words of description, they're more opaque or translucent, faceless but yet have faces and personalities. Perhaps perceiving elves as an archetype that speaks to me, a way to communicate to me. What's also strange is that they feel familiar, like I知 one of them, but that I知 experiencing the physical reality we have here. The place feels like home in a strange way, an area that we come from, or have been for quite awhile in some perspective. The beings feel very familiar, as if we are all actually one thing, like consciousnesses squeezing through this membranous sheet that wraps around my consciousness and gives it mental and physical shape and form, the identity, the body. I feel this sensation when coming down, or rather out of that other space.
Dude, this is serious shit, and I知 no greenhorn to the many states of consciousness. But this shit seriously humbles my veteran-ass attitude. I even instinctually tried to squeeze back into my body the first coupla times because, not too sure why, perhaps it's such a strange dimension and sensation at first. I could feel a part of me fighting the separation from my body. Salvia has amazing potential. As bizarre as the experiences have been they are very healing as well. I gotta say too that this stuff totally knocks the shit outta me, I wake up to my body, as I知 slowly pushing through the plasticy membrane whatever it is, finding it sprawled on the floor or bed, total outta body. Once, in the woods, I found myself about 30 feet from where I had smoked, a sure sign that the setting is of utmost seriousness, no playing in traffic. Very, very different than what I知 normally used to. Not the classic ego-shredder or psycho-analytical stuff or feel good ecstatic states. She shows me the good, the bad, and the ugly, in all its amazing beauty. The come down visuals almost seem psilocybian-like but not quite, very unique, similar in the sense that it's not angular but more twisting and curving.
So yea, huautla is only six hours from here, I wanna see if I can transplant it to San Jose. Climate seems pretty similar. I haven't tried eating the leaves yet, I'll get to it soon, no hurries though, the experiences smoking it thus far have been quite humbling to my supposed 'strong' mind, and it's quite an intense experience for me as you can see by my rambling, haha.
I'm kinda curious to see what salvia might impart to you as far as the god-complex that you say you get sometimes from other hallucinogens, the indole alkaloids (phenylethylamines and tryptamines). From my experiences with salvia these are clearly other entities, other beings, in an entirely different dimension. There's been a heavy sense of equality combined with uniqueness amongst them. Also with dust, because I think he's been pondering death and what happens to dust after dust dies (no pun intended, haha), well we all do that I guess, but anyways the feelings I致e got from this plant concerning what consciousness is have been truly utterly profound and the separation from this physical reality, which is death as we see it from our perspective.
My consciousness is eternal, it's always been, but not always like I think I know it. The consciousness is quite crafty and can even fool itself into thinking it's something, like identity, clothing wrapping around the consciousness. We sometimes start to think that we're the clothing, but it's more like a membrane wrapped around are consciousness that gives us physical sensation. Salvia really gave me a new sense of death and consciousness, and as far as psycho-analytical minds and the questions they ask go, dust and I are quite similar in that fashion. I知 not sure about the ms situation though, because salvia is definitely physical, I totally depart my body.
Last note: My journey last night was something else. The squeezing through and back through the plastic-like membrane-like border has been a consistent experience for me in all journeys. The membrane is a matrix of some sort, that is that the membrane is this physical world we inhabit, they are the same, so it's really not quite like a border, almost more like plastic wrap. The beings are 1 and many at the same time, and I am one of them, we are the same and yet unique, but not in terms of individualness but something else, it's hard to explain, maybe like unique parts of one awareness. I had to let everything go to where I wanted to get, my consciousness was like a tight ball, very streamlined(?) with no identity or ego to slow it down, just my pure (or somewhat pure, haha) awareness.
I was them, US. We all weren't sure if we should be doing what I (we) was attempting (yes, I know, sounds paradoxical). I felt mischevious, as I sometimes do when I feel comfortable, err, we felt mischevious I should say. We felt like we were sneaking something from mothers cupboard, not All were sure they approved, haha. But I felt to do so, we felt, couldn't help myself. Then it got strange, I felt like I(we) was going to sneak back through the membrane-matrix-like thing into this world. Why would I be sneaking back into my world? I kept saying, 'just a little bit' like I just wanted to squeeze a little bit of me back into this world. Like I(we) wanted to experience the physical world and hadn't. It was as if a part of me was sneaking back into this world with me.
My limited vocabulary sucks, but I'll try to explain what I felt about death. Our awareness doesn't die, our consciousness is beyond time/space. The things we plastic wrap around our consciousness, like identity, don't survive the transistion. the plastic wrapping is always there, accessable from any point in time/space, and known but it is detached from Us, like taking off my clothes before dream time. Chretien is more than Chretien can even suppose, beyond Chretien. By wrapping identity around my consciousness I sometimes forget who I actually am, or what I actually am not. Because, well, we never do really know who we are, because we have infinite potential. How can I know who I am when I am actually beyond my perception.
We are amazing, beyond amazing. We can't even have a purpose because we're beyond any purpose that we could ever presume, but there are plans and patterns. Anyways, this all happened in 5 minutes or so and it's taken me alot longer to write it, haha. My experience in this life is the gift I bring back to Us, we're eager to explore apparently. I don't die and Chretien will always be there for Us to explore and take for a ride, he's only clothing that we put on to feeeeeel Chretien, woohoo. Well, this ride, I知 enjoying Chretien. It feels quite circus-like in one respect. The consciousness pushes through the membrane, giving shape and form to all We see, way down deep, deeper than subatomic particles, way down in there, squeezing through every bit of time/space. The experience of physical shape, form, and individuality.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.