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A Blessing and a Curse
Amphetamines (Adderall)
by Jst
Citation:   Jst. "A Blessing and a Curse: An Experience with Amphetamines (Adderall) (exp40346)". Apr 19, 2008.

  repeated   Amphetamines
I've been taking 20 mg of the extended release version of Adderall as prescribed for the last three years and had taken it to study or as a 'social lubricant' very sporadically from the age of 18 on. Needless to say I have a few opinions, good and bad.

One thing is that without a doubt, I'm addicted - both psychologically and physically. The feeling of control that I get and the complete lucidity of thought is unparalleled and something that I am hard pressed to give up. Going from introvert to extrovert in the time it takes for a pill to come on - without it being apparent to others that there's some sort of intoxicant involved - is a godsend. In controlled doses taken for a small period of time Adderall is unbelievably helpful for any number of things. Early on, it reminded me of a more restrained ecstacy high. Over time though, I become stuck in a 'can't live with it, can't live without it' cycle of dependency which I'm currently - and unsuccessfully - trying to end.

A few things I've noticed. One - It does affect judgement in certain situations. The feeling of control that comes with an amphetamine high can quickly turn into a feeling of invincibility and a blindness to the consequences of spending, talking out my ass, or spending 5 hours of my time organizing something as trivial as my closet. The strength of focus on Adderall is a double-edged sword, often rendering anything peripheral to the task I've set for myself almost invisible.

Two - my stomach has suffered greatly. I've noticed that myself and a few (but not all) of the people I know taking it, now have serious - at times dehabilitating - digestion problems. It might not sound like such a big deal, but I know that if I take it before a meal I'll be in the bathroom soon after and it won't be pretty. Too much info? Too bad.

Three - Physical and mental exhaustion. To take Adderall with any frequency requires quite a bit from my mind and body. I've found that with prolonged use, the Adderall euphoria and focus can sometimes be replaced by restlessness and complete lethargy and it was all a crap shoot. Some days are fine, others I'll take it and end up exhausted and moody within an hour or so.

And four - the withdrawl. Enough has been written here on the withdrawl so I'll cut it short.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 40346
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 19, 2008Views: 8,067
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Amphetamines (6) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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