Ltd Ed 'Solve et Elucido' Art Giclee
This reverberating psychedelic giclee print is a gift for a
$500 donation to Erowid. 12" x 12", stretched on canvas, the
image wraps around the sides of the 1" thick piece. Signed
by artist Vibrata, and Erowid founders Earth & Fire.
Hope
Heroin
Citation:   Coujoe. "Hope: An Experience with Heroin (exp40482)". Erowid.org. May 20, 2008. erowid.org/exp/40482

 
DOSE:
  repeated   Heroin
BODY WEIGHT: 150 lb
I remember being bored over the summer in high school so I began smoking pot when I was around 14, no harm or intent to destroy my life. It took about five months before I discovered DXM and soon began mixing the two. This seemed to be a lot of fun, always reading experiences on Erowid and actually believing there was a spiritual nature to getting fucked up.

At 15 I was offered Vicodin by a friend who had broke a wrist. Again, no harm or intent to become dependent. There have been many reports comparing opiates to warm feelings of summer rain and such, this is very true. It was wonderful; I didn’t have to deal with anything anymore. If I was bored, agitated, or pained all I had to do was take some Vicodin and smoke pot. Like magic 30 mins later the day would just be magic. Everything was better. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin.

It didn’t take long to realize it was cheaper to snort Oxycontin. After all, when you’re addicted most anything seems rational. One thing I noticed during this period, my friends had the ability to stop using whenever they wanted or control how much they took in. I had no control whatsoever. Weeks later I was cooking shots for myself, because after all, heroin is FAR CHEAPER than Oxy is. I was down to 105 lbs at age 16 being 5’9”… this is not something normal people do.

I got sent away for 10 months and experienced sheer hell for the first 2 months. I don’t remember much of anything from the age of 16-18. Basically, just nodding in consciousness and feeling complete and utter terror or loneliness. I found out that I was a rare breed of a person. A disease called drug addiction. Meaning one out of every ten users who cannot for whatever reason stop using drugs.

I had to swallow my pride and seek help. An anonymous program worked best for me. I could not beat drug addiction by myself. I would have died painfully trying, guaranteed. I have been homeless, locked up, and addicted to drugs to the point of being pronounced schizophrenic. I now live in a college dorm, have friends, and live a completely normal life. I even go to parties and hang out occasionally at bars. However I can’t drink or use drugs. I have seen and done things most people will never see or experience. I have seen first hand friends die or commit suicide from addiction. But with hope, I found the light at the end of the tunnel.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 40482
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 20, 2008Views: 10,637
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Heroin (27) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults