Citation: Jetaimestupide. "1/2 Zion, 1/2 What the Fuck: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) & Cannabis (exp40766)". Erowid.org. May 3, 2007. erowid.org/exp/40766
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It should be mentioned that I am relativley unexperienced when it comes to the realm of drugs. I have smoked weed a few times, done nutmeg once, and drank a handful of times.I hold an openminded viewpoint to drugs, but have been particularily hesitant to explore such forms of reality because of my incredibly strict and evangelical upbringing by very closed minded parents.It takes awhile to sort fact from fear.
Beyond drinking, casual marijuana use, and a brief nutmeg encounter, I have never experienced any drug that was known to be intense.I have not explored the bounds of substance.
I also did a heavy amount of research on E before I took it. I knew what I was getting into even if at the time of rolling on E I thought all the preperation was a joke. I was well aware and not ignorant of the possibilities of this experience. Even if i was slightly unsure.
It also should be said I am VERY chemically sensitive. I have taken a caffiene pill or drank a large cup of coffee and have gone nuts. I have experienced extreme depression from such doses of caffiene and on my one experience with the caffiene pill I felt nearly suicidal. I have been told that my extreme feelings with most substances are quite rare.
I took one pill of E at approximately 11:30 a.m with my boyfriend. We started to walk around in the neighborhood shortly after and started to feel a mild high and tingle twenty minutes after. By 12:23 we were rolling. Since he had already done E twice before, and this was my first experience it hit me a lot harder than him.We went down to the water at a local park and lied down on the rocks. The water was endless and so filled with light. It was sheer beauty and euphoria. Our lakes are contaminated and known for being disgusting but everything was so full of ambivalence. Even the bird shit struck me with awe.
About ten minutes after we started rolling together I hit a stop in my high. It was so concentrated and overwhelming I put my head down and closed my eyes, saying that it wasn't my time to do this and I was an idiot. My boyfriend told me to just go with the flow and looking at the endless ripples in the water calmed me within a minute. Color was so intricate for one shade of being.
The next two hours were the best of my entire life. My subconscious just seemed to ramble out of my mouth and I could clearly identify myself and everything that I had hid from for more than a decade of my life. I resolved my own fears of the world and inner shadows that I have been held down with and that have caused me to allienate myself from others. I felt the most resounding connection with my boyfriend and we spoke of everything and had no pace besides one another. Even the things that weren't so good to hear were listened to instead of being apologized for. There was no existance besides what we knew.
Sexual attraction was apparent but not acted upon. We both thought that sex seemed just like a waste of time and it felt more like love making to just look at one another. The idea of sex was rediculous at that point, and when I tried to feel sexual feelings by touching myself I found that my desire was misplaced. It felt rediculous to even think your genitalia could provide you with pleasure because the sexuality was everywhere. It was not an anxious feeling by anymeans, but a tranquil sexuality that was based upon love and not any carnal desires. An hour after I had begun rolling I started to call my friends and tell them what I thought of them and explain for my distance and truley be open about my deep mental afflictions. I even called my much older half sister who I don't see more than once or twice every ten years and tell her that I wanted to know her even if she felt differently about me. I was full of optimism. It felt like the most sober high I had ever felt.
After this two hour period things began to change. We drove to the 'top of the world' which is the highest point in the city, and before we ventured up, my boyfriend started smoking weed and I took two hippy kisses, unsure of what the combination would be or if there would be any. For me it mixed and changed the whole course of my trip. I have heard that the second part of an E trip can be more psychedelic than the begining so I may be just placing the change on the weed. I have never experienced anything like this on weed.
As I layed down in the grass I felt stranger sensations than what had first set in when I started rolling. Within 10 minutes, I turned to my boyfriend and wide eyed stated 'IM TRIPPIN OUT'. This was very much so. It wasn't a negative or ill felt trippin out. In fact I enjoyed it but I was so caught off guard because I had never experienced anything like this before, not even a 10th of it on nutmeg. My boyfriend on the other hand just felt a mild relaxation and was not 'trippin out' as I was.
The clouds were seen to me as a threatening force, I could not take anything into proper perspective and I was so aghast. In the middle of my bliss to triping state an english man walked up to me and tryed to have a conversation, to me he was just a cartoon character. I had the ability to photoshop the clouds. I played with them all I want. Windmills + shapes tripped me out. My trippy state became a paranoid state. I kept asking every minute or so 'Where are we?' 'Are there any people around?' 'How did we get here?'. I was consitently told 'Calm down calm down calm down' and 'I'M RIGHT HERE'.
The paranoia turned into fear and anxiousness as we ventured a friends house. My head would turn consitently in jerking motions from right to left to center. In which I would get up wonder where I was walk in a circle and chase this dog so that I could hug her. My mouth was open the whole time and the two other people did not look so comfortable with me even though they are very experienced with the realm of drugs. I was straight trippin. I could break down music into different components. I sung for the first time and In perfect harmony. I was so capable and enjoying the high to a slight degree even though all I was saying for about two hours of this was 'I'm trippin out'.
After we left the house my paranoia turned to unconscious rambling as I kept saying to my boyfriend things that were hurtful. I kept breathing harder and harder and not taking breaks between words. This freaked out my very drug experienced boyfriend who thought I was going nuts. I caught little glimpses of reality in my tripping state which actually tripped me out more than anything. The trip got a little sad as I had started being a case to look after rather than enjoy things with. At an intersection up the road, I opened the car door and puked my brains out.
It was apparent I had taken too much e. A half a hit would've been perfect. The E I took at 11:30 a.m lasted until around 12 a.m. The E I took may also have been cut with amphetamines or some such. I didn't go to bed and stayed awake the whole night turning over bullshit in my mind. I was so jittery and more tired than I have ever felt. EVER. It was a most unfortunate combination. I felt dead the next day and couldn't sleep even though I needed it so badly.
I don't know if it was the two hippy kisses of weed or dirty roll that got to me but it was the most incredible experience of my life. If at all possible I would recommend you testing your E to make sure its not cut. It fuckin fried me for awhile. Sure the end part was considered 'bad' at the time but in retrospect it was totally an adventure that didn't make me feel weird but rather just in a different experience that shouldn't be compared.
The first part of the trip 2- hours made me more in touch with my self and my loved ones than ever before. I disected life and became a part of the human race. It was truley a theraputic experience I will recommend to anybody and everybody. It helped me because as one who shoves others away, a therapist or another person trying to help me never could have worked. I am deeply introverted and tend to think that the motives of others are unpure. E changed all that. I was just too rapped up into my own world and it let me expand my bounds and truley heal myself. Sure the comedown was a bit of an exhaustion, no doubt, but it was well worth the life lessons I taught myself in a period of less than a day.
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