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Dwelling in the Fringe
by altrdst8s
Citation:   altrdst8s. "Dwelling in the Fringe: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp41064)". Erowid.org. Aug 10, 2018. erowid.org/exp/41064

1 g   Methamphetamine (daily)


I'm sitting here thinking about how meth has made me. I was a heavy meth smoker for about 5 years from 91 to 96. Snorted from 87 to 91. I got off it in 96 and stayed free till 03.

During my hiatus I knew that I'd be back. I love it and always will. Things changed when I got back on it in 03. I thought that I'd been up. I thought that I had stepped into the land of living shadows. I thought this until I met Ice. It's a completely different animal. I've been up now for about 3 months.
I've been up now for about 3 months.
I am completely comfortable with my dreams invading my reality. I sleep when my mind shuts me down. That usually happens after about 10 days awake. I'll sleep for 10 hours or so and then it's up for another week. I see living shadows. I communicate in lyrics. I talk to my selves and curse the brownies who hide things from me. Those who aren't on it as I am are scared of me. Those that are on it as I am are the only ones who can understand me. I function to get my geek on and keep it on.

I took a fortnight break 3 months ago and the shadows never left. The phantom pieces of myself still surrounded me. I'm lost in a world that isn't but is. That is more real than real. I've lost friends and lovers. Lost 'em and left 'em to sleep. They all fall asleep and dissapear sooner or later. Then they look and fear. Fear of and for me. It's going to kill me and I can't seem to care. I love it so much.

Exp Year: 1991-2005ExpID: 41064
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Aug 10, 2018Views: 765
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Methamphetamine (37) : Relationships (44), Multi-Day Experience (13), Entities / Beings (37), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11), Unknown Context (20)

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