Citation: Raoul Duke. "The Edge of God: An Experience with LSD & DMT (exp41279)". Erowid.org. Jun 7, 2005. erowid.org/exp/41279
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It took me well over nine weeks to orginize the pick up and drop off of both the LSD and DMT. I am an experienced Acid user, and umong other things use it to simply trip, meditate, at times explore the universe, and other times I do it because my life has been good and the day is nice. I am lucky, having such access to LSD, however, my source has slowly dried up, and I have been dry. Not that this bothered me, as I said life is dandy and drugs were used like a walk, a good one here and there and not too many lest I get bored of them. Then magicly it happened, my source got five hits of aperently very high quailty, possibly 100 or 120 nq (nanograms is it?) Per hit. I had also been gearing up for getting some DMT, somthing I have done before but less frequently. I thought that the time was right, the setting couldnt look better, and life was good; it was time to drop acid and blaze in a cloud of DMT.
Parinoia: possibly, Fear? Most likely. Self inspection? Lets hope so.
What merited this experience was the fact that I was going on a road trip with my source, and a number of freinds. Oh my twas straight out of HST's (who unfortunetly passed away recently) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. We had well over 160mg of DMT, 5 hits of acid, maney a bag of grass, three diferent species of mushrooms (sry I cant tell which ones) and lots of spare cash, not to mention one bottle of very fine Barbados Rum. Ah, yes, a drug fueld drive from our New England home to Las Vegas, and from there to Yosemiti National Park. We split the stash into fairly equal parts, I chose a few shrooms one blotter and I believe 35 mg of DMT. I was saving the acid and DMT for Yosemiti. (the shrooms will have to be another story)
Fastforward a week or two and you'll find me calmly walking down a forgotten path, somewere in the woods. I had dranken an herbal tea of Valerian, St Johns Wort and Chamomile. I had also slept well the night before, and had fasted all of the current day. The sun was out, and I was alone with only my close freind Mr. Acosta (ha). It was around 1 PM when we both droped our blotters. By now, when was walking slightly ahead of him, I could feel the first afects come on. I smiled, turned to him, told him 'lets find a pool or bed of water and watch the rabbits frolic about'. So we ambled off into the crisp summer breeze and found a pool of water of somesort, very idealic, with a classic stream pouring into it. An hour had passed, and I was peaking fast. I layed down, dangled my feet into the water, and smiled as the trees waved before me and around me. The place felt right, the time coudlnt of been better, so I turned and told him to pass his glass pipe over. He knew what I was doing, and in order not to be a mental strain on me he stood, smiling, and loped off after some ray of sunshine, who knows. He was having a good time, and he trusted that I could handle myself. I lumbered up with some difficulty, the ground was beggining to undulate.
As I stood I had one of those classic times when the high hits me full on after an hour of rest during the come up. I looked at the pool and was pleased to see that the plants and birds were all smiling, breathing with a unison, reminding me that we are all one in some ways, in some ways...so I ambled off to sit by a rock, with one foot just touching the water, and made sure I had a firm support against it, I didnt want to fall over.
So as I sat here and felt my mind slowly melting into the valley and sun and trees, I questioned what I wanted out of this experience. Yes, I wanted to see things that werent there, yes I would enjoy talking with a woodland elf, but I needed a little more. So I decided I would, if I could still walk afterwards, find the center of this wood, and there I would meditate.
I packed the crystals into the pipe and took one long hit, a very long long long (seemed to last forever, and ever and ever) hit. No, this was no hit, this was the drag of all drags, a single breath, and as I breathed in the whole wood around me, the pond, the rocks, the stream grass (were those smiling faces I saw?) They all breathed in too. And then I dropped the pipe, rolled over, and closed my eyes.
!!!!!!!!!!!This is reality!!!!!!!!!!!!
Folow the chain and watch it as it leads around the bend....
*********************see? Ha see with your mind and may u not be blind .................................
Follow the chain (follow theyellowbrickroadtheyellowbrickradotheyellowbrickroad)...
My memory is a wee bit tweaked from this expereince, but I did in fact get up and followed a yellow brick road. There was one there, perhaps not yellow, but a road none the the less, leading into the heart of the wood. I thought of life and what it was. At times I would stop and lean against a tree, and we would talk (mentally that is) about this and that. When I would blink I would instantly be rushed forward, feeling my body almost let go of the ground and fly away, greeted by thousands of flying objects, beautfly real in everyway. This happened everytime I blinked. DMT doenst last very long in comparison to LSD, but it felt like ages. Every blink would send me just a little closer to (was it the edge? A good edge? Yes, the edge of god) and each blink would last a thousand years of man. When my eyes were open I would see trees bending over, and (I want to say) little men running up them. Reminded me of faires, and in the distant I could very distinctly see a massive house with a courtyard full of mushrooms. I beleive it was a reminisence of an old dream I would have as a young child, where I would climb through a small door into a wood, and at the end of the wood there was a house with a garden of shrooms. I thought of that dream, and in that instant I climbed through the little door.
I was gone. I was surfing the cosmos, but yet everywere I looked I saw a strangley Alice in Wonderland like scene, but everytime I closed my eyes I leaped forward thousand of miles to distant stars. At one point I sat down, and stayed there for ages......
I lost track of time.
At around 7 pm I got up (I dont know how long I had been where I was) and found my way back to baseground. Two of my friends were laying out on the grass staring at the sky, and I was told they had eaten their shrooms. My fellow tripper was smoking a hefty bowl, easing his way through the comedown. The others were off. I sat down, fully off of the DMT, and felt almost bored with the incredibly intense acid visuals. I had just spent a horribly long time examining everything and here I was, back at camp, after a journey of thousands of miles (not literaly), and I was bored with the acid. This led me to feel uneasy, so to a nearby tree and once agained questiond god and life, closed my eyes and felt myself slowly detach from reality. Again I came back, after a journey away, into starts and into the very meaning of life, finding the fading visuals rather dull, yet somehow more pleasing than they orignaly were. I had a new apreciation for them, and feeling rather mentally fatigued, I went about simply exploring the visuals them selfs. I watched grass wave, trees melt, clowds shift shape, the standard but always beautiful effects of LSD were never so wonderful than now. But my mind was burnt, and even though I was happy I was tired, but I coudlnt sleep.
Anyways, it was barely 8 or nine, and the sun was just setting, or at least it felt like it. So I went to my freind and asked for a bowl or two, and we shared a nice one. It did the trick, calming me down, numbing that one nerve that had been tickled too much. It was then I settled down in a comforitable spot with some music and enjoyed the rest of the comedown, ocasionly opening my eyes to examine the trees or the new stars. It was truly beautiful.
Coming out of this experience I am uncertain if I will ever blaze up on DMT while jacked up on acid, it being rather intense. There was a sense of loss when I came off the DMT and back to acid reality. But it can be easily dismissed with the sheer beatuty of the world around me. The tea helped, having mentally calmed me, and the tea I had later that night helped too, easing the trip to a gentle end, though it never really ended till the next day. Everything was warped beyond imagination, and words cant do it justice. Never try it alone unless experienced with its effects, as I was. And have a purpose. I feel the only way I got through the let down of coming back to acid reality after the such vivid insights the DMT gave me was because I had a sense that even though it was over, I had fulfilled my purpose of self inspection. Though the DMT was gone, I had done my deed, and with that there was a certain amount of satisfaction that the acid maginified into a fountain of joy, drowning out the feeling of loss.
It was amazing beyond all words.
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