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This Is So Beautiful
Cocaine
by Purr
Citation:   Purr. "This Is So Beautiful: An Experience with Cocaine (exp42070)". Erowid.org. Jun 25, 2007. erowid.org/exp/42070

 
DOSE:
1 line IV Cocaine (liquid)

BODY WEIGHT: 105 lb


After having felt depressed for an entire week straight with no signs of improvement, as a direct result of taking ecstasy the weekend before, I decided last night that I needed to do something. Injecting cocaine seemed just dramatic enough to distract me from my chemically-induced depression. I don't know anyone else who's done this, and couldn't find much information on it online or elsewhere, so I really had no idea what to expect.

I'd tried doing this a couple times before, but with no luck actually hitting a vein (even though I used a tourniquet and everything). This time, I tried using the empty needle (no pressure to get it right!) to practice, and I managed to hit a vein my very first try.

The problem before was that I'd been trying to judge whether I'd actually entered the vein based entirely on whether blood appeared in the syringe when I pulled back the plunger, like I'd read I was supposed to do. Trying to reposition myself to play with the plunger is really awkward. The trick is this... I can tell when the needle is in the vein by pushing it in really slowly and carefully, and feeling how much resistance there is. When it hits the vein, it will be pushing through liquid and there's suddenly no more resistance. Then I pull the plunger to make sure.

So anyways... I used about the same amount of coke as a small-medium sized line. After dissolving the cocaine in boiled water and all that, then injecting it as described above. Well, I'd heard I feel the coke even before I was finished injecting. So I stood up, looked around sort of confused because I thought I couldn't feel anything.

Then suddenly thought 'OMG this is so beautiful!' and picked up my video camera and started talking into it, went outside and ran around the building a few times, thought about how I couldn't understand how I'd been so sad before. Then I went back inside because I had the urge to tell everyone how much I loved them. Thank goodness nobody I wanted to talk to was on messenger when I signed in, because that would have taken a lot of explaining the next day.

After about 20 minutes I started to come down. For the next hour I felt like my heart was beating way too hard, and I honestly couldn't move. I just lay on my bed watching my chest going up and down. Emotionally, I felt a little nervous, but there wasn't any sort of big crash.

I've heard that a user shouldn't ever inject cocaine because the user won't be able to forget how good the high is, and will probably be instantly addicted. Well, having done ecstasy (which is evil), I can say that the high is really similar. Intense feelings of happiness and energy. The quality of the happiness is a little more energetic and motivated, rather than spiritual and empathetic like on ecstasy, and the high is alot clearer. But other than that they are very similar.

Also, the high from injecting cocaine is a lot different from snorting it. It's far cleaner, and I feel more actual happiness rather than just energy.

Weirdly enough, after coming down I never quite felt as depressed as I had before... Injecting coke actually cleared up the ecstasy-comedown depression. Finally. I'm glad I did it, I don't feel the urge to do it again. At least I am definitely going to make a point not to do it again for a long time.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 42070
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 25, 2007Views: 29,472
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Cocaine (13) : Alone (16), Depression (15), Glowing Experiences (4)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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