Citation: Omar. "Where Heaven Meets Hell on Earth: An Experience with Cocaine (exp42187)". Erowid.org. Nov 15, 2005. erowid.org/exp/42187
I had always had a strange infatuation with cocaine before I ever decided to try it. My first time to try it was the night I graduated from high school, and I won't go into the mundane details of the night but I loved it. I did what I later found out to be an eightball, which was an unusual amount for the first time. I felt like an absolute god. Literally like I was above everyone around me. Invincible. Unvulnerable. Theophanic. I remember the friend that I tried it with and I stepped outside to smoke, and when I finished my cigarette I noticed he still had about 3/4 of his left. Since I didn't experience any kind of 'crash' afterwards, I thought very highly of it. I also didn't even really want to do it that badly until a few months later.
About 7 months later, the weekend before thanksgiving, I decided I wanted to do it again. My friend told me he wanted to try it, so i said 'let's do it this weekend.' We got a couple of grams and did them throughout the night at my house and at various parties. After this time for some reason, I needed it. I started getting a half gram every other day, trying to keep it under control. Occasionally on Fridays, I would get a gram and a half. The twenty's and fifty's that left my pocket seemed irrelevant as they did. I didn't care if I didn't have gas in my car, or if I had food, or if I had bills to pay. After a month or so of doing this, I quit for a month. I was just tired of being dependent on this, even though I had convinced myself that I wasn't. I would tell myself every time I went to get it that 'If I couldn't afford it, then I would just deal with it and go without.' Ironically, I ended up doing just the opposite after this month break from it. I ripped people off, stole, borrowed and lied about what it was for to people that didn't even know I had ever tried it, and were close friends. Right now, I do about a gram a day, and just finished my daily dose about twenty minutes ago.
Looking back, I know I never should have tried it, having such an addictive personality.
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