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Hell on Earth
Benzodiazepines & Alcohol - Hard
by R3V0LUT10NARY
Citation:   R3V0LUT10NARY. "Hell on Earth: An Experience with Benzodiazepines & Alcohol - Hard (exp42998)". Erowid.org. Nov 19, 2019. erowid.org/exp/42998

 
DOSE:
  repeated oral Benzodiazepines  
    repeated oral Alcohol - Hard (liquid)

BODY WEIGHT: 150 lb


I've had severe mental illness my whole life. The worst factor of this was the horrible anxiety I would suffer every day. I'll try to keep this short and stick to my point. Benzodiazapines and alchol will never ever lead me to a good experience, and, if by some twist of fate they do, I won't remember a damn thing about it.

I've been to jail five times and every time I was under the influence of both xanax and alcohol or under rare circumstances, just huge doses of xanax or ativan. I've put my dad's head through a window, called my mother a whore, fought an off-duty cop, groped a stripper, run from the cops through Florida swamps in the dead of night, been pepper sprayed, baker acted several times and generally f---ed my life up.

Luckily of all the times I've been arrested, the charges have been dropped for one reason or another. I've been lucky in that regard. I finally found a doctor who was understanding enough to gradually prescribe me benzodizapines while I was sober. That made a world of difference in my life and I now take 2 mg's xanax and 1 mg klonopin (to alleviate the xanax withdrawl - it's got a longer half life) daily.

I only experience normal levels of anxiety in appropriate situations and have learned to manage it very well. Anyway, my point is, if I'm mixing benzos and alcohol it could not only ruin my family, self esteem (and yes anxiety will become worse with such abuse as tolerance rises) and my liver, it could easily kill me via respiratory arrest, car accident, whatever - or, worse, I could kill someone else. The animal comes out when I mix these two drugs or even abuse them individually.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 42998
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Nov 19, 2019Views: 1,182
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Alcohol - Hard (198), Benzodiazepines (434) : Not Applicable (38), Addiction & Habituation (10), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)

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