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Now Look at Me
DXM with CPM & Various
Citation:   James. "Now Look at Me: An Experience with DXM with CPM & Various (exp43151)". Sep 7, 2008.

  repeated oral DXM (pill / tablet)
    repeated   Various  
[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!] Unfortunately I never made it out of the school parking lot before I got in an accidant because I was talking to my girlfriend in the passenger seat. My girlfriend is very anti-drug and has no idea Iím under the influence. Instead of doing the sober thing and pulling over and trading information I decided to run from the scene. I drove up to the next light and my girlfriend started freaking out and made me go back so I did and now I have to pay a thousand dollars in damage.

Days and days go by and I keep ending up with more and more coricidan. I was tripping every day, until I had to go to MEPS (military entrance processing station). I was now officially apart of the U.S. army. After I returned from MEPS I made my first stop at a grocery store to pick up more ccc's.

Weeks went by with continual abuse of the drug my friends noticed a drastic change in my behaviors. The DXM made me extremely bipolar and deeply depressed. I hit a downfall when I decided to have an overnight get together with friends and we would all trip out on triple c's. I donít remeber exactly what happened but when I woke up the next morning I found many people to be mad at me. Eventually I realized I had lost all my friends due to my drug use. I broke down crying begging my friends for help I even confessed to my friendís parents, my father, and even the youth pastor at my church. Later that night I went to my first N.A. (narcotics anomonyous) meeting, where I felt a drastic change and knew I would be able to quit without a problem.

The next morning I freaked out about the idea of being sober so in this five minute time period from when I woke up I decided to run away from home. I packed all my stuff into my car and I left. That night I slept in my car behind an old movie theatre downtown. I had a little brush with the cops because they thought I was trying to break in to my car and I was lucky enough that my dad didnít report the car stolen or me missing so I was free to go. The next day I pawned off my guitar amp and my keyboard and spent the rest of the day doing random drugs with a complete stranger. That night I drove for 2 hours to Gainsville where I snuck into my cousinís house for the night. That weekend Iíll never forget. I went to numerous parties and did so many drugs and mixed so many things that I have no idea how Iím alive today. In those couple of days I grew a huge reputation for myself, half the city knew me by name. Monday night I stayed with a new friend at his place where I met his sister and her friend. I introduced the two girls to coricidan which I think they enjoyed as much as myself.

That night in all the confusion I raped the guyís sister totally oblivious to what I was actually doing. The next day the police were at his door they took me away in handcuffs and took me to the police station where I was questioned for hours. Then they released me to my mom whom also lived in Gainsville. I continued doing the triple c's. I ran into the girlís brother a couple of weeks later, he took me to an abandoned house where we smoked weed for hours and as we were getting ready to leave he kicked my ass till I was passed out and bleeding on the floor. I woke up a little later I was alone in middle of nowhere having to walk home. I now go to Gainsville high school where I ended up becoming popular in a matter of a day or two because of the reputation I had built around my self since coming to Gainsville.

I still continue to do coricidan despite the major damage Iíve done to my mind and body. My father has disowned me and is trying everything to ruin my life. I got arrested for trying to steal ccc's from wal-mart. My mind is so fucked up Iím to the point where I donít know if Iím depressed, happy, or even insane. I keep a journal now just to keep myself from going completely nuts. I tried killing myself by overdosing on DXM I took 78 ccc's but I was fine, it was a hell of a trip though. I didnít feel like killing myself because I was depressed or anything but Iím so lost right now I donít know what to do. The army has been searching for me for awhile now. I have like 20 messages on the phone from them. I was suppose to ship out for basic training 2 days ago. Iím still in love with DXM but I wonít let anyone else touch it if I can help it. I used to be a normal church going kid now look at me. Itís fucked up.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 43151
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 7, 2008Views: 16,978
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DXM (22), Various (136) : Depression (15), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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