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Now I See
MDMA (Ecstasy) & Cannabis
by Carly
Citation:   Carly. "Now I See: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) & Cannabis (exp43443)". Sep 16, 2007.

7 bowls smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  1 tablet oral MDMA (pill / tablet)


This report is about me and my dear friend Clarissa, who has suffered from chronic migraines for years. In the past year she has been on 9 different prescriptions, all of which did nothing to alleviate her horrible and constant pain. I have always been very interested in drugs and their effects on the body and mind. I use drugs to expand my mind, as does Clarissa, which is why we are bonded so intricately. Together we have tried many substances and learned more than most do in a lifetime, and we feel that we are only at the beginning.

We had used MDMA several times and were really enjoying the conversations it stimulated and beautiful moments it created. MDMA has definitly changed both of our lives for the better. It has taught us to see so much beauty and love that we have been in almost a constant state of disbelief and joy since we began to use it. The only negative part of the entire E experience were the lows we both had, and I'm sure most others get, awhile after the peak has ended and the E starts to wear off. We decided one day while both coming down off of a roll to smoke some pot and see what happened. The second we did we didn't know why we hadn't done it before. It was like the best parts of both rolling and being high. We had a very intense and incredible experience that is too long to describe right now, but we've been smoking after our peaks ever since then.

We were curious to see what smoking pot as we were waiting to roll would do, so we finally decided to find out. We'd gotten some pretty decently priced E so we figured if the effects somehow canceled each other out, it wouldn't be a big deal. Thinking about that now, I guess that's a pretty stupid theory, but drugs can be unpredictable and I hadn't heard much about anyone doing anything like that.

This night started with Clarissa having a headache, like usual. She always does her best at ignoring them and trying to enjoy herself anyway, but they are a huge burden on our time together and all of her other time spent as well. We dropped at about 8 and then began to smoke. We were taking the same kind of E we'd taken only a few days earlier, and we knew it took about and hour and fifteen to minutes to hit, so we just sat around talking and laughing, waiting to see what would happen. We had one more person with us; my cousin, Julie, an incredibly smart and interesting person who always adds to any experience with her presence. She had smoked and taken roughly 165 mg of DXM.

For the first hour, we just made a couple of stops and enjoyed pleasant conversation. We got back to my house and put on the beatles, wacthing excitedly and joyfully. Clarissa began to bounce around and it looked like she was feeling her E. I thought I might be, but wasn't sure; long story short, I began to get frusterated thinking I wasn't going to have a fun night. I'd been in a crappy kind of mood all day, I had actually considered not having Julie over that weekend because I thought I needed to get things done, which is actually an important detail of this story.

The Beatles weren't cheering me up, and I knew something was wrong. I was annoyed and dissapointed because I only felt stoned and had been looking forward to an interesting night. I was saying some pretty thought provoking things and I felt my mind racing but I realize now that initially, that wasn't the kind of night I had been expecting. I went into the kitchen to unload the dishwasher and my friends followed me out. I expressed my dismay to Clarissa, telling her that I was feeling 'intrigue.' She told me I shouldn't reject the intrigue, and I knew she was right. I also told her that though I was in a really upset mood, I felt that all was not lost for the night. She agreed, telling me she felt as if we were building up to something.

I began to feel better after we shared that thought and as we went back into my room, I began to feel the E hit full force! It took two hours and I don't know how or why, but wow, it was worth it. I hadn't rolled that intensely forever and was lifted out of my bad mood to an extremely open and warm state. Clarissa was feeling the same thing, with only a headache bothering her. After dancing, singing, and completely enjoying ourselves for quite a bit as Julie tripped, I saw her sitting on the bed and went over to her. I layed my stomach on her legs and rested my elbows on the bed and my chin on my hands. I gave her a smile and asked how she was doing. Clarissa came over to join us and pulled Julie's glasses onto her face. I looked over to her to see and I laughed at how cute and fitting they looked on her. I watched her look in the mirror and I saw her face begin to change into a very wonderous form.

She looked to me and commented, 'These are actually making my head feel better. I can see a lot better with these on. I think I need glasses.' I responded, 'Clarissa, not being able to see well can give you headache.' Our eyes met at that moment, registering what I had just said. 'Oh my god, no wonder you have headaches all the time. You can't fucking see!' I hurridly pulled out my notebook, scrawling, 'Clarissa needs glasses. She has terrible vision. Tha's why she has headaches all the time.' It seemed so simple, but so incredibly profound.

Her doctor had never once, in the year they'd been working together to find a treatment for her headaches, given her a vision test. Everything began to fall together into our laps. Of course she didn't know she had bad vision before she tried on glasses and had a glimpse of clarity! Since she began getting her headachea in 4th grade, her vision has slowly been getting worse and worse which is why her headaches have been getting worse and worse. She was straining every waking moment to see and not even realizing she was doing it. The constant tension on her eyes would give anyone a splitting headache!

The freedom we felt at that moment was absolutely indescribable. We were healers. We had found the cure to Clarissa's headaches. I care for her so much, and the thought of not having to see her in pain made tears spill from my eyes. I've never been so full of pure joy and wonder. It was hands down the most incredible thing that could have happened. The rest of the night was spent reflecting and talking about what had happened, enjoying the rest of our roll, and finally passing into sleep.

The next day I had to work. The basic feeling of the day was extreme beweilderment, but I would pass into moods of extreme joy and happiness to the point of tears and felt generally very strange. I knew that I wasn't feeling sad, but I did feel that my soul was not at rest. It was abundantly clear more than ever that the world would always posess the ability to suprise and amaze me. Everything fell into place with a grace so mysterious that I believe even more than ever in the power of drugs and their relation to mind expansion. I feel one step closer to becoming a shaman, something I've been reading up on for sometime.

The only thing bothering me was feeling no sense of direction or closure, and that's when I knew I must reconvene that next evening. There was more to learn, there was more waiting for me, like a book I had only half finished. That is where this story ends. It's 6:24 pm, and I have to finish my work tonight. I can't wait to see what more is left.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 43443
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 16, 2007Views: 9,385
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MDMA (3), Migraines (154) : Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Relationships (44), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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