Citation: Dionysus. "Total Madness and Terror: An Experience with Salvia Divinorum (exp44344)". Erowid.org. Feb 29, 2008. erowid.org/exp/44344
It was yesterday (1st of June 2005) that I had one of the scariest and most intense experiences of my life.
I had purchased salvia from a smart shop in the web. 1 gram of 5x standarized extract. I had taken it twice before yesterday and my experience in these 2 first times was surely strange and full of awe but not at all scary. In all three cases of my salvia experience, the setting was the same. I was alone in the house, closed in my room and with some meditative, ambient/ethnic music playing on the pc.
The things I felt just a few seconds after the hits (1 or 2 from a little bong) in my first 2 experiences, was some kind of trance-like view where everything is spinning and tearing itself apart. A kind of pressure and tingle in my head that made me staring at a spot and losing myself in it. Feelings of awe and inspiration... I have to tell you also that in the last 2 months I have read almost everything that I needed to know about the substance and, in general, about psychedelics and other drugs. I knew all the bad things that can happen with salvia, but my first 2 experiences did not scare me at all and showed me that a sitter is not so important to be there.
But yesterday the experience was immense, crazy and horrific. Maybe it was the two very large hits that I took and held each one for about 15 seconds. Maybe it was the imposing, religious traditional greek music that I was hearing. It is music played during the firedance ceremony in northern Greece. I felt that I was losing myself. I really entered into another dimension where I lost every control on my mind! My consciousness immerged into the trance and into the music. It was SOOO scary!!! Then I layed down on my bed and, because I was scared that I am going crazy, I started to struggle and resist to the experience but it was too hard. In fact it was hopeless because I couldn't get out of the trance. I sensed someone who was telling me that I had made this mistake to take too much and It was Salvia's turn now to get inside me and show me her strength. This 'Master' had a peaceful smile on his face, his was very powerful and he was wise and calm.
I totally freaked out!! I thought that I would damage permanently my brain and I would go really mad. Then I managed to get up, in total confusion and shock, and I called a friend of mine who knew about the substance and told him to come immediately to my house. It was the greatest shock I have ever felt in my life. In fact, for about ten minutes I was really OUT of my mind. I was really crazy. The biggest mistake I made is that I fought back the experience. I got scared without a logical reason, because I had read all these and that it always goes off in half an hour. Then, after about 1 hour when I relatively calmed, I went for a little walk with my friend to get some fresh air. I was still shocked and very unsettled but I could manage my thoughts and my movements. It was if I had experienced a big car crash and had seen death in front of me...
Always have a sitter, read all the effects and documentation about Salvia and the most important, try not to fight back and resist to the experience. Think (if you can really 'think' during the trip) that it will come down in about 1 hour at most. It ALWAYS comes down and you ALWAYS become what you were, before the experience.
Now, today, my recollection of the experience seems to have faded out and has a long distance from me. I guess, my psyche has repressed this horrible trip. I am really calm and peaceful with a greater respect in life and a greater gratitude for what I am and what I have.
Peace and Power to all of you,
(Is it accidental that most of the signatures in the experience vaults say 'Peace'?)
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