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Truly Astounding and Life-Changing
by j
Citation:   j. "Truly Astounding and Life-Changing: An Experience with MDMA (exp44411)". Jul 10, 2021.

      Pharms - Fluoxetine (pill / tablet)


Took a pure dosage of MDMA in Tokyo on New Years in 2003; the result was that I (someone who had never danced before and was very anti-social) dropped all of my barriers and fears and had one of the most empathic and spiritual experiences of my life. The changes in my mindset were permanent, and to this day I am very social and empathic with people, and tend to remember this experience as truly astounding and life-changing. I took four pills two later in the United States (that's this weekend and the weekend before it) and while it gave a pleasant and fun effect, it was no longer the life changing experience I had originally encountered. I am unsure of whether this is due to poor dosage and impurities in the US market or the fact that I simply don't have the same barriers up in my consciousness.

The experience itself was very intense, with nothing happening at first, and within 15 minutes a wave of euphoria hit me so hard that I had to sit down. Time slowed itself, and my brain removed many of the frames from the image of people walking past me. It was beautiful and strange, something unreal for me since it was my first time ever taking a drug. Within a half hour, I just randomly got up and started dancing (for the first time also) for the rest of the night. This part I do not remember, since it was so long ago, but I remember vertigo (eye wiggles) the next day, teeth clenching, and a very strong urge to do MDMA again as soon as possible (I did not however). I also experienced a slight hallucination the next day as a flock of birds flew past and melded together before vertigo occurred and I was forced to look away. I was depressed but I knew it was purely chemical, and even while chemically depressed I delighted in my newfound realizations about the oneness of the universe and my own determination to share this love with others in a subtle and understanding way.

Furthermore, it should be noted that my friend stressed me out for the week following my dosage in 2003, and I did not drink any water during the high. The result was a very painful muscle anxiety in my chest and right shoulder which made 6 months very much unbearable. It was *not* depression at all, but I was prescribed Xanax and Lexapro to solve this problem (possibly fibromyalgia?) and it temporarily fixed the problem while I was on those medications. It has been almost two years and while my shoulder is still a little pained, the nerves or whatever that had caused the original problem are much less painful now than before.

It is hard to say whether this would have been avoided if my friend didn't stress me out or if I had drank sufficient water during the event.

Essentially, I suspect there is a one time effect during the first dosage that causes a revelation in the user, and because the revelation is realized and then expected, it does not occur again with subsequent doses. I take prozac 8 hours after any pill I drop nowadays (which has only been twice in the last two weekends with two pills each - red trumpets, blue dolphins).

The author estimates ingesting a total of 120 milligrams during the main experience described in this report.

Exp Year: 1ExpID: 44411
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jul 10, 2021Views: 565
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MDMA (3) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Glowing Experiences (4), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Various (28)

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