DOSE:	repeated	smoked	Crack	(freebase)
	repeated	insufflated	Cocaine	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

125 lb

Strength
I have experimented with a large large handful of drugs. Everything from mild stimulants to meth, weed to straight up psychadelics. Inhalants, opiates, the works basically besides things terribly difficult to obtain in my area or too obscure to be well known by average street folk with out the interwebnet. Cocaine is an addictive drug but I only found it to be slightly more addictive (psycologically) than meth. I abused meth quite a bit and only experience mild cravings when I stopped of my own free will before things even got bad. Cocaine never disrupted my sleep habits and only mildly affected my eating. I ate less obviously.

Even though crack is derived from cocaine it is a whole different ball game. Cocaine would always pitch it straight to me. Nice kick in the nose. Speedy delicious high and a surreal come down that I never even found to be 'terrible'. I am not a hardcore cocaine addict but after ingesting thousands of dollars worth of a drug you get the general idea. The point is that I would never go on 4 days binges with cocaine or even meth. I would take my trip and go on with life. Crack actaully has gotten in the way. I wouldn't eat, and have gone up to 6 days with minimal sleep. My body feels sick and tired even though my mind is racing. This is entitled strength because I need strength right now. I'm high on crack. I have been high on crack most waking minutes for only about 5 months but it is already taking a huge toll. I still hold a job and my relationship with my girl of 3 years is strong. I still can feel the jeapordy I'm playing however. I'm not a serious crack addict stealing or even killing for the drug but a pioneer in the drug world experimenting with what I find. I am hoping this experiment is almost over.

The high of crack is very intense and very high. What goes up howver is thrown forcefully back to where it belongs and the horrible comedown of crack is unlike everything. The nature of this beast strikes me as this. I'm coming down right now (which I will remody in a second) the come down does not bother me untill I have taken the last hit. Then rather than a nice 5-10 minute high I get about 3 seconds before I frantically start looking for more or try to aquire more. It is always just one call away provided I have the money (I have the self control to keep one of my bank accounts unspoiled as a back up plan for lifes little mishaps).

The comedown causes me to be very edgy and irritable and the unfortunate part is that most of crack is a comedown. I can't lie that the high is amazing but I'm sick of spending 90% of my time in this bullshit comedown hell. I just went 24 hours with out touch crack or powder cocaine and the first rock I smoked was amazing. The tolerance builds fast however and I have to smoke twice as much to get even in sight of the first high. This leads to the binging I now hate. I wuold have been ebtter off not trying crack. It is completely not worth all the bullshit that comes with it. In my world this is my last night of smoking crack (I barely even believe myself though) but it is hard when its always a call away and a sure thing to get. I will beat it somehow, but it will be with me tempting me forever. Tempting me for what though? Even in the heat of this mild addiction I can see how stupid this all is. All I want is more and I can't feel ok untill I get it. I don't want to live like that.

Marijuana is a wonderful drug. I doesn't have the power to ruin a life in 6 months with casual use. There is no casual use with crack unless one is some kind of super human with anti addiction powers. The short high is part of Crack's fiend factor. The paranoia that comes from binging is silly when I look back but its so real and scary at the time. I have smoked another half gram during the writing of this on top of what I smoked before. This shit is ridiculous. Those who claim it is 'the best' high are full of shit. There are much better alternatives than crack for those who enjoy altering their conciousness. I'd love to say just try it once but the first time I tried it I didn't even feel the effects really, just a strange desire to do more. I grew to love the numbing of my tongue, mouth, throat and eventually entire body. The taste never struck me as good however and I would often gag letting a hit out. I grew to hate the frantic comedown, being strung out for the 3 days I went without it a few months back, and the constant desire for more. I have greatly lessened my use over the past week (which still amounts to about 70 dollars a day but the prices in smaller cities suck, 70 dollars only gets me 2 grams and I hear there are better prices than that in bigger cities) Anyway, I went with only a half gram of poweder cocaine a few days ago and no crack, I thought not smoking it would help but I was still ingesting cocaine so nothing changed. Then I went a whole day without any cocaine and it wasnt even hard though I did buy some crack during that day (even buying it elevated my mood and the pressure in my head) I didnt even have to start smoking it but I did and its dwindling.

My goal is to not flip out after the last hit which is about 10 hits away (its sad that I'm counting but thats crack). Tommorow I will drink a bottle of champagne and some beer after work to ease the tension and whatever. I'm going to change my phone number so dealers and seekers who acquire it through me cannot call me (cause if I get it for some one else you damn well bet I'll get my own). The strength then will lie in me. As long as I don't make a call or have the strength to deny any deals that come my way I win. I beat heroin because I just plain couldn't find it in this hole of a city/town and the withdrawals werent terrible after 2 some months of use. This is different. Despite what is known or believe there are physical withdrawal symptoms associated with crack. Intense fatique, throbing headace/head presure, feverish body heat, jittery nauseas feelings in the stomach and relapse type feelings of the numbness on my tongue are things I feel commonly.

Overall I regret my experience with this drug because they aren't memorable or shining. The best I can do is remember that I'm sure I was numb and high as shit sitting around hit after hit with my girl just watching the world pass by on three day weekend. Too bad I can't even really remember how I felt. Just high as hell I'm sure. And slightly nauseas. I know I rambled on but I'm on a stimulant. Stimulants open me up in a way. I wasted so much time trying to say that crack is a bad drug. It is a giant mental mindfuck but I am the only one playing so its more like mental masturbation. I know I have the courage to face the demon but I hope I have the strength to fight it off and attempt to get clean from this rock-y horror picture show.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 44554
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 3, 2019	Views: 4,187
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Crack (82) : General (1), Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)