Citation: Annon. "All-Night Binge with Nosebleeds: An Experience with Cocaine, Alcohol & Cannabis (exp44988)". Erowid.org. Dec 14, 2008. erowid.org/exp/44988
||(powder / crystals)
The first time I tried cocaine happened about a year before this particular night. I had been increasingly using it for recreation over the past year: it started out about once a month, then once a week, then both weekend nights, then sometimes 3 nights a week. I knew it was bad for me but never really considered it much of a problem, afterall, I was a straight-A college student, beautiful, well-liked and popular. I also hadn't experienced bad come-downs or 'lows' that others have had so doing cocaine was not a big deal to me.
My best friend came to my college to visit one weekend, and her and I love doing coke together. So naturally, we went to a huge party and started buying lines from a person we had just met about an hour ago. I remember having the time of my life at the party: talking to literally almost everyone there, going for secluded deep emotional talks with people I had just meant, confessing my darkest secrets to anyone that would listen. I felt so happy and talkative I just couldn't shut up. A lot of others were on coke too or at least drunk, so no one seemed to mind.
So as my friends and I kept doing more and more lines, more and more people started to leave. I remember getting a mirror to cut some lines on when I looked at the clock - it was 3am and it felt like we had just got there! Eventually, the owners of the house went to bed and me my friend, the coke dealer, and another guy we had met at the party, sat at the kitchen table from 3am-9am doing lines and talking. I remember my friend telling these strangers the story of her life, including a depression period she went through because of her ex-boyfriend.
At some point, maybe at about 5am, my friend left the house to go do lines with another coke dealer that was really sketchy. When she came back about an hour later, she had blood smeared all over her face! At first I freaked out because I thought she got hurt or something but then I realized her nose was bleeding from all the coke. About an hour later my nose started bleeding too, and what do I do? Oh just continue doing more lines, but this time with stick-it notes rolled up so I could jut discard the bloody ones and keep going. It got to the point where I had to hold my head back with a towel to my nose, I was bleeding that bad. But when the bleeding started to stop I just kept doing more coke. I couldn't even tell you what we talked about - everything and anything is what my friend described it as. It was just so messed up because we didn't even know these people but we were just so talkative and open that we felt like we could tell them our life stories. Finally at about 9am we walked back to my place. I remember sitting outside of my building smoking a cigarette and watching some kids start their morning jog!
My friend and I finally crashed for about 3 hours, but when I woke up, I cannot even describe how bad that feeling was. It wasn't so much physical as mental - I seriously felt like I wanted to die. It was the lowest of lows I had ever experienced. I also felt really dirty and trashy, I couldn't believe I stayed up all night doing coke with random people and not caring that I was bleeding all over the place. I started questioning who I was, where I was going, and why I was doing this. I felt so depressed and out of it that I actually went home from college just for that night so I could recover/deal w/ the low!
That experience made me want to take a long break from coke, which didn't really happen, but I will never do that much or for that long of a period again. I think coke is fine in MODERATION, but sometimes I think it's not even worth the lows or the withdrawls.
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