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I Know What I'm Doing
Methamphetamine
by Methlove
Citation:   Methlove. "I Know What I'm Doing: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp45050)". Erowid.org. Jun 26, 2007. erowid.org/exp/45050

 
DOSE:
  repeated   Methamphetamine (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 150 lb


The first time I had tried meth was about 1 year and 7 months ago after school in the girls bathroom. My friend Penny went inside the restroom with me and so did my friend mongo. Penny took a key and snort a bit, and as soon as she snorted the bump she threw herself into the wall of the restroom as if though the shit was 'that' good. I took my key shot and just felt the burn but I didn't throw myself into the wall.

For about a week I snorted two to three lines after school with Penny but I stopped because Mongo told me Penny had said I was going to finish her shit. And so I bought my first 10 from a dealer in school I'll call Rene. I remember that 10 would last me up to two weeks and now it's enough for a hit. I would snort about four lines only two inches long a day. everything was going cool for the first couple of months and then I began to tweak with my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend). we would say that the drug was our own little thing.

Then we met Spooks. Spooks was a dealer/user and he had the best shit I had ever tried. Spooks had been fucking with meth for about 15 years now and his method was slamming (shooting up). My b/f got the idea that we should try it that way and of course I was on board with the idea. So one day after school we went to my friend Mongo's boyfriend's house to slam. I had no idea how it was done but my b/f said he had shot up heroin before so I figured he knew. We had a huge syringe the kind doctors use on your ass and it hurt like a motherfucker. My b/f injected me and I just watched a bump appear on my arm. He said it was normal. I had shot up like a line and it got me good!

We shot up with that syringe two more times until it became too hard to do so. Then my b/f told Spooks we slammed and Spooks invited us to his house so he could show us how to slam. That night my b/f and I realized how stupid we were for slamming the way we did. Spooks not only had diabetic syringes but he put way more meth than water while we were doing the opposite. Spooks and my b/f had to help me with my arm seeing is how my veins aren't troopers when it comes to slamming. My veins are hard to find.

We got into the slamming and I have to say shootin up itself is very addictive and there's nothing better than seeing that blood rush into the syringe and back into my arm. We were doing so much meth it was amazing we didn't die or something. My boyfriend bought half an ounce to hustle but we fucked up most of it, I mean REALLY most of it. Everyhting was going great when my b/f began tripping the fuck out saying that I had other guys over and that I was hiding them. I wasn't about to take this shit and told him to fuck off.

I began to use the drug all on my own and I was always able to handle it. I've never tripped out or lost my fucking mind because of it. I've been so fucking spun out of my mind and I've been sober like a bitch but I've never ever been irresponsible. I've always managed to find a way to get my ass up and feed my sister, pick her up from school, dress her, take care of her, clean the house, and I've never ever acted violent towards another person because I didn't have a fix... because I know that it isn't their fault I'm a drug user, therefore they don't need to take shit from me because I'm not on one! and I wont lie, I did (and still do) want someone there but no two people can fuck with the same drug!

Though I had no money or job I always had shit. I never sold myself for it either. My friends, I guess love, and they would hook me up all the time. Penny would buy an eight-ball and give me half and Sam would always share, so did mongo and Kid. I don't slam as often any more because I can't find my veins but that's thanx to my three weeks and three days of slamming everyday more than 10 times a day! and I'm not going to stick a needle in any other part of my body that's not on my arm so fuck that.

But the free fixes and the good times finally ended. My friends all started fucking up. I should of kept the whole slamming shit to myself, but I wanted to share with them the experience. I thought since I could handle it that they would be able to also, but I was wrong. They would miss and get bruises and still slam. If there's one thing I know about slamming it's that level of spun I get when I slam and I miss, isn't worth that fucking pain in the arm! And it's not the free fixes I miss, but my friends.

When people find out I slam they see me as a completely different person; for example now I'm dirty, it's wrong, and people find a way of abandoning me when I need them the most. But I can't ever say shit because I'm the guilty one, I'm the fuck up, and it's not ok when I make mistakes. It makes me so fucking sad sometimes because I know that I'm alone, I'm so fucking alone, and I just want somebody who's willing to accept me. Believe me I don't want to go thru this alone!

Now I'm slamming, snorting, and smoking meth but I still have everything under control.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 45050
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 26, 2007Views: 26,015
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Methamphetamine (37) : Not Applicable (38), Addiction & Habituation (10), First Times (2)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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