DOSE:

repeated

insufflated

Methamphetamine

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

94 lb

I don't know the last time I really knew what day it was. My days and nights run together. It's been weeks but just a few days to me. I've been using meth for over 2 years now, give or take. I run on complete tweaker time. I don't care not to. About every 3-5 hours I line up a 3 in. Long rail and load a puddle. The line comes first, it's part of my high. That burn I get, I love it. That burn is what starts my high. I love the feeling of my brain being on fire and my eyes about to pop out of my head. The nasty drip, I like the way it tastes. The puddle is just for fun. So ritualistic. I never fully let it get empty. Not the stem anyways. I save that for a resign puddle if I’m out of dope. Ive mastered getting it to melt again and roll into the bowl with the guidance of a well handled blow torch. (I now have a collection of sizes.)

I force myself to get required things done like clean shower go to the store. I want to sit home alone away from daylight and people and tweak out in my own world. It once took me a week to rearrange my house when I thought it had been a few hours. I don't watch how much I do or if get food in me or sleep. I dont care to. I like being high. Since I live in Utah this is never hard. Theres nothing to do here, and the drug is more available than anywhere else. With 4 cookers in the town where I live its pretty much fresh from oven (so to speak). I dont think ill ever quit. I dont think I could. I havent gone more than 48 hrs without meth in over a 17 months. I need it to sleep when my body makes me. I dont know how to function without it. I never bother asking the time or day anymore. They dont have use in my world. I’m lost in time. Not a part of it. I dont even see it pass me by. Its not just meth that I’m hooked on, I think I’m really addicted to the addiction.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 4559
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 27, 2001	Views: 5,515
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Methamphetamine (37) : Alone (16), Addiction & Habituation (10)