Citation: Domestic Adventurer. "The Madness of Salvia: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp45986)". Erowid.org. Nov 28, 2007. erowid.org/exp/45986
I was at a friend's house the first weekend after school had started. It was around nine o'clock at night and quite dark. There were about 10 or so friends of mine there, just hanging out having a good time. A friend, who I will call A, got his hands on some Salvia 10x extract. He was going to let me and two other friends of mine have one bowl each. I had no prior knowledge of the effects of Salvia, except for the rumors I had heard from others. I did not believe a word of the rumors either because of their outlandish claims, such as 'you live in the body of someone else for an entire year,' which is absolutely ridiculous to me. So I was unsuspecting and unaware of what it could do to me, in fact, I was defiant in some ways. I thought it would be little more than a small buzz, so I was ready to take experience it.
My friend, A, had already done some Salvia before I had arrived there and he seemed fine, just a little giddy and not altogether there, but nothing unexpected. One of my friends that was going to do it with me, I'll call him K, went first. Under the instruction to keep the bowl lit and to hold the smoke in his lungs for as long as possible, he took a hit. It seemed the effects were immediate. He began to laugh quite a bit and walk around with excited energy. Nothing out of the ordinary though. I talked with him for a little bit, just asking him how it was. He laughed a little and said it was good. My second friend, who I'll call W, went next. He did the same thing, and again the effects were immediate; he laughed out loud, and said 'oh my god,' and romped around a little more excitedly. W and K began to converse and seemed to want to get away from the crowd, but A and I kept them close, as not to call attention from other neighbors. Then a short while later A gave me a bowl of my own.
Under the same instruction I took three of the largest hits I could, all the while never exhaling. As I was about to take the third hit I remember thinking 'this doesn't seem like it will do anything'. I took the third hit, holding all of it deep in my lungs. Then NOTHING. I lost consciousness. What I gathered from the first hand account of friends was that I stumbled around very clumsily. Then I fell down hard and began to seize. Then I shot back up on my feet and ran from the backyard and straight into the neighborhood street.
I want to clearly explain that during that entire time I was completely unconscious and had no control of my body or mind. When I had gotten a ways down the street suddenly my brain awoke. I had no memory of what I had just done or where I was. I did not know it was night out or that I was in a neighborhood. I was surrounded by intense rainbow-like color. Even though these hallucinations seem that they would be pleasant, I had never been so frightened in my entire life. I wasn't aware of my past or present. Broken thoughts were racing through my altered mind. I was trying desperately to find a solid ground in my mind that I could latch onto for support that my existence wasn't false and that I did exist, I was searching for anything, a memory of any kind. However hard I tried I couldn't find anything.
Although I had no recollection of my past I knew that at some time before the now I was experiencing, there was something. To question your existence is an extremely scary event. To think even for a second that your entire life could have been a fleeting thought or a short dream is terrifying, and to me it felt like an eternity. However, that wasn't the end of it, as I was trying to prove my existence to myself, I had to deal with the fact that the colors were overlapping into themselves creating shapes that I recognized, but I didn't know what they were. It seemed like there was a black hole behind me and if I were to ever stop running I would surely be sucked up into it and that would absolutely be the end of me. Trying to prove my existence mentally and fight to stay alive physically,... I was sure I was going to die.
Then suddenly I started to make out a figure of a person I knew coming towards me. It was another friend of mine, who I will call N. He came up to me and grabbed my arm and would not let go. I tried to explain to him what was happening, but I could not put sentences together, I fought with myself to make sentences that made sense. For a second I thought N was there to help me, but then I realised he was trying to bring me towards the black hole I was running from. Instantly I thought he was trying to betray me with kind words just so he could take me to what I was fleeing from. Then my other friend A grabbed hold of my other arm and began to do the same thing. With what little strength I could gather, I fought against there grips, but couldn't make myself free. Now there was no doubt in my mind that my existence was done.
Thankfully, the effects of the trip were beginning to wear off, and fragments of reality were coming back to me. I began to realize where I was and what had happened. Looking back on it, I traveled to a place I had never been before. It was much like an alternate reality, and maybe it could've been pleasant under different circumstances. What I cannot stress enough though, is if you ever decide to try Salvia it is a good idea to have a friend there to keep you safe because the effects can be unpredictable.
Less than a week later I found another opportunity to try Salvia for a second time. This time I decided that I wouldn't do as much in hopes that I would be in control of my actions. This time it was at night out in a field with six other friends. I only took two hits this time and did not hold them in as long. The effects were almost immediate. My perspective changed quite drastically. It felt as if the ground under my feet changed from a flat grade to a steeper grade as if I was on the side of a hill. Then two of my other friends did it as well, I'll call them B and G. Then suddenly I could feel myself losing touch with reality again. It was horrifically similar to my first experience, but this time I found that if I concentrated I could keep it under control a bit more. I kept my body facing towards the top of the hill and held onto the car that had gotten us to the field, it acted as my anchor, not only to keep myself standing up, but to anchor myself to this world. It felt as if I was on the edge, the edge of the world, the edge of reality, the edge of my mind. I fought to stay upright on the edge. If I let go I thought I might lose my body and mind to the black nothingness behind me. The same exact feelings from my first experience were rushing at me, but I did everything I could to stay conscious.
I was again unsure if the setting I was in was reality or just a farce, like a stage play where everybody knew what was going on except me. However, I tried to keep control of these thoughts and just watched my other friends to make sure I was still anchored to reality. Then I thought that Salvia was put on Earth by God as a gateway of some sort to enter a different realm. I thought I was on the edge between the two realms. The one I had been existing in and the unknown one behind me. I definitely did not want to fully enter the other realm, for fear of the unknown. I know these thoughts seem insane, they do somewhat seem that way to me even now, but if you try Salvia you may understand some of what I'm saying. It was not at all a pleasant thing though.
If I were to try Salvia again it would definitely not be for pleasure. It is more like Salvia opens up a new existence and realm and Salvia is my ticket to explore the unknown; I have no idea what will happen if I were to let go of my anchor and travel into the unknown. Possibly, nothing with happen, or maybe I might go unconscious, or there really could be new things I've never experienced before on the other side. I think if I could do it alone in a familiar environment in a ready mindset, I could begin to explore what lies beyond, and I also think after doing Salvia a few times it is easier to control its affects. I would not describe Salvia as fun or pleasurable, instead it opens up your mind and tears away at reality to reveal something that I could not ever hope to see or experience in normal life.
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