Citation: LSD. "Fear of God: An Experience with LSD (exp46828)". Erowid.org. Apr 19, 2018. erowid.org/exp/46828
It was around my 15th birthday if I can recall, give or take a couple weeks, when I had the hardest trip I've ever had. It was the 3rd time I had ever taken acid. The 1st time was either in late 91 or early 92 with a friend of mine that scored it from someone at school or something and we stayed out all night riding our bikes around in a shopping mall district where there were a lot of lights. That was the 1st time I had ever gotten high right there, so I was drawn to acid from the very beginning and back then it was more readily available than nowadays it seems.
But anyway, an old neighbor and some of his friends I had met were about to score some acid so I jumped at the opportunity and got some as well. I think I payed $20 for this strip that was equivalent to at least 5 hits of cut blotter, and this was some really good acid too. I was kinda scared to eat them all but I saw someone else eat one just like it so I said screw it and ate the sucker. Ohhhhhhhh man I wish I didnít have now. I knew that once you drop there isnít any turning back so I just went with it and rode around with them smoking up.
It wasnít until about 90 minutes or so later that it 1st peeked its evil little head out the door so see what was going on. I was smoking a Camel Wide (at that time they were brand new) and I looked at my cigarette and watched the camel start doing laps around the cigarette while everything in the background (road, cars, houses, etc.) was increasingly starting to get a reddish haze to it. I knew right then that I was in for it. I was supposed to go to school the next day so I went home like a dumbass thinking I could lay back and enjoy it for awhile and then go to sleep.
I'm about 2 hours into it now and sitting in my little room with my blacklight on and listening to the radio (classic rock) just thinking. I was new to the area and had just moved there from out of state around a couple of months before and had a lot on my mind at the time. It was suddenly getting difficult to breath and the red haze over everything was starting to get pretty intense. From there all of the minor details are difficult to remember. Maybe 20-30 minutes after that they played Pink Floyd Comfortably Numb and I was starting to get a little jittery thinking that I had done way too much and prayed to god silently that it wouldnít creep anymore. Not more than 20 seconds after that the radio violently sounded like a tape getting eaten up and was slowing down, similar to putting your hand on a record while it is playing but with a evil intensity about it. I immediately freaked and jumped up screaming at the top of my lungs like a little girl and right then it was as if time was standing still, the clocks stopped blinking and I felt like I was in a horror movie. The strange thing was I never even got up while all this was happening, I was still sitting on my bed. I then knew I really did it this time and it wasnít about to get any prettier so I got the hell out of that room and once I walked out into the living room it just completely ended, everything was peaceful as could be like I wasnít tripping at all hardly. I asked my parent if they heard me yell and they said no while watching TV.
From this point on it is all bits and pieces that I can remember. I completely lost 3 hours and I donít even remember what I did during that time, I think I may have went back to my neighbors house but I donít remember, even a few days after I did it I didnít remember. All I remember from the next point on is that its early morning and I'm laying in the living room curled up into a ball on the couch scared to death of my surroundings.
All I remember from the next point on is that its early morning and I'm laying in the living room curled up into a ball on the couch scared to death of my surroundings.
The TV was on some early morning religious show and I remember I suddenly looked up at the TV and the guy turned into an extremely evil reddish figure pointing at me saying in the worst voice you can ever imagine ďits your turn to burnĒ. It was then that I was so terrified that I ran into my room and actually hid under my covers shivering. I wasnít safe in there for very long because a few moments later I thought I was being sucked into the bed and at the same time was trapped inside of the covers and couldnít get out and felt like I was suffocating. After I managed to get myself out of the covers I bolted out of that house quicker than a dog chasing a rabbit and ran down the street in dense early A.M. Fog. Oh man, this was really messed up. I was actually hearing people getting shot everywhere and people screaming off in a distance and it was just pure chaos everywhere. A dog started barking at me and his barks were getting louder and louder and louder and it then turned into a scream. It wasnít far of a run but it seemed like at least 20 minutes when really it was less than 2 maybe. I eventually made it to the house of someone else that dropped (another neighbor) and he was tripping pretty good too. I was freaking him out telling him that I was about to die and all this. He tried his best to reassure me but it did not work. I wigged him out too bad and he acted like he needed to go to sleep or something so I walked outside and once he shut the door I felt like I'd been cast out to the wolves.
I cowered home and sat at the kitchen table and put my head down praying it would go away or at least lighten up and then I started drowning in the table, now that was most disturbing. This has happened to me another time also on acid but not near as frightening or intense. I knew my parents were about to get up and I was supposed to go to school but there was no way in hell I was going to make it in that day, so I walked to my neighbors house and luckily he answered the door and let me in. I felt a little more at ease for next few hours. I remember sitting there on the couch and smoking a bowl with him and someone else and I just layed back and I started tripping so fkn hard hearing some kind of messed up 70ís sounding tune in my head and I whenever I closed my eyes I was seeing all kinds of extremely intense stuff, there wasnít any blackness like when I usually close my eyes, it was like looking at an alternate reality whenever I closed my eyes. I wasnít about to come down and I thought that I had seriously screwed myself up and played it off with them like I was going to go home and lay down. I went home and I knew that I needed to go to the hospital because I was mentally melting down. I calmly told my mom that I took something and that I was fkn losing it but I lied about the who, where, and why. My dad came home and they both and my sister took me to the emergency room. The radio was off in the car but I was hearing music and I remember telling my dad to turn the channel when he pointed out that it wasnít even on I started flipping. They got me to the hospital and the doctor quickly put me on a bed and strapped me down for some reason, that was very unpleasant. I remember my dad looked scared to death that I was gonna die. The doctor gave me a couple of pills to swallow and not more than 20 minutes later I was dead tired. I finally went to sleep not long after that and slept for around 2 days.
To this day I am positive that I never fully recovered from that particular trip. I realized this when I dropped a hit last night. I havenít done acid in a few years and I forgot how it felt, even though I have probably done half a sheets worth in my lifetime. Not to sound like a public service announcement but a word to the wise, I took too much at once, and I fkn regretted it. It was like jumping off the deep end without a lifeguard and once I dove there wasn't any turning back.
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