Citation: bluedolphin. "The Realm of the Shaman: An Experience with DMT & Moclobemide (exp46854)". Erowid.org. Nov 1, 2005. erowid.org/exp/46854
I've been fascinated by the psychedelic experience since I took my first RoboTrip 4 or 5 years ago. Since then, I've ingested as many different psychedelics as I could get my hands on. At first, I used very little discretion. I took DXM almost weekly for quite a while (with excellent results). I ate morning glory seeds and HBWR because they were easy to obtain. Then I moved on to mushrooms, research chemicals like 2C-I and 2C-B, and mescaline from San Pedro.
I have had excellent trips on all these substances, but it was with my discovery of LSD that I found a true psychedelic ally. And, in spite of the drought that many people have experienced looking for LSD, this chemical fell into my hands frequently over the last couple years, and I ate a lot of it. And I can confidently say that I was able to learn much more from one or two LSD experiences than I did with all other psychedelic drug use combined.
Now, all this experimentation did not come without a cost. Sometimes I found it very difficult to cope with the changes that these drugs forced within myself. Certainly, they didn't help me become a more productive / efficient / clear-headed human being. When I discovered LSD I mostly cut all other psychedelic drugs off my menu. What was the point of experiencing depersonalization, mood-swings, loss of concentration, and minor HPPD-like effects if I wasn't learning anything?
Simply put, I feel like my mind and body have been through plenty of abuse in the last few years so I need to choose my poisons sparingly.
However, there was one substance still left on my list. And how could I put a cap on my psychedelic drug use without having tried DMT? I was not really interested in being shot into hyperspace, but Ayahuasca reports sounded fascinating. But it just so happened that a friend had some pure DMT he was glad to share, and I found some monoclobemide as the MAOI to activate it.
My girlfriend, who is nearly as experienced with psychedelics as I am, also was very interested in oral DMT. So we had set aside a night to eat it together. The setting was her house, with nobody around and no distractions or worries.
At around 10:00pm we each ate 150mg monoclobemide.
At around 10:30pm we ate 50mg DMT each.
By 11:00pm I was starting to feel 'something'. Yep, I noticed a mood lift and somewhat playful character enveloping me. Also, my body felt tingly and warm. We turned off the television (we were watching the start of The Cable Guy which just happened to be on) and decided it was time to focus on the effects.
I suggested we boost with 30mg more DMT, because I knew that 50mg would be somewhat of a threshold experience, and by now I was pretty sure I wouldn't have any bad reactions to the stuff. She wasn't feeling anything yet, but she agreed to boost.
Soon after taking the booster dose, bringing us to 80mg each, I noticed the carpet was starting to crawl just a bit. Yep, this was beyond placebo. Looking around the room, things looked a little brighter.
I got on the bed and laid on my back. The two lights on the ceiling had caught my attention. I couldn't explain why, but there was something about them. I felt drawn to them. Shortly after this the ceiling lost its texture, stretched out to look kind of like a sky, and the lights looked like they were suspended in space. They were acting like some kind of entity, yet at the same time they really weren't doing anything.
I was feeling *very* relaxed and calm, so I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes. I noticed there were some patterns, like snowflakes arranging themselves in fractal formations. At first it was faint, but soon I fell into somewhat of a trance and it became more vivid. Then I noticed that this was only one layer of my vision, and there were several more layers. Another layer came into focus, and this one was brightly colored, containing at least twenty hindu-looking deity-things dancing in a line. It was like Lord of the Dance, but with super-trippy creatures dancing instead of Michael Flatley and his crew. Then I noticed there were not twenty, but several thousand of these creatures. For some reason this realization hit me with a wave of intensity, and I felt a very strong pull on my body (almost like Salvia, but not as dark and creepy) like I was about to launch into hyperspace and join these dancing creatures. Keep in mind that not five minutes ago I was at a very mild ++ experience, if that. The force and sudden power of what I was experiencing took my by surprise, and I tested the waters by trying to put on the brakes, so I would know if these sudden waves of intensity could be controlled or not.
It turns out they could not. Opening my eyes provided no relief at all. Everything was still there, but I couldn't see much of it, aside from the occasional set of glowing eyes which popped out of parts of the room, mostly in my peripheral vision.
I turned over and told my girlfriend that things were really getting intense, but she still wasn't feeling anything. She wanted to walk around the house and turn the lights off, and I went with her. The walk seemed to break the pull that was acting on me, and instead of being pulled by the power of thousands of hindu gods I was able to focus on different objects in the house and connect with their energy. I don't know how this transition occurred, but it removed any anxiety I had and the trip was now truly fascinating.
We went back to the bedroom and she lay down on the bed, apparently very tired and probably extra-relaxed from the DMT. She still felt nothing and wanted to go to sleep and leave me to trip out on my own. I told her, 'If I were you I would no go to sleep. You might wake up in an hour or two, completely out of your mind.' But she did lie down and close her eyes.
I also closed my eyes again, and felt another trance coming on. This one was not threatening, which is strange because the images I saw were actually scarier. I saw wolves exposing their fangs, claws scratching at me, gargoyle-looking creatures, and some entities that looked rather demonic. I could sense their presence, and I was somehow in touch with them. But they had no influence over me like the hindu dancing gods did. They were basically just images.
Now these trance states were really strange. Several times in the trip I would go from a + or light ++ and shoot up to a much higher level of intensity. I would not call this a +++ or ++++. It was just the cyclical rhythm of the waves of 'trance' coming over me. During these periods it was very easy to close my eyes and enter a strange universe, which was usually very chaotic. I was trying to see if I could make contact with perhaps one entity rather than seeing a bunch of rapidly changing, flashing psychedelic images, but it was not to be.
Then I heard my girlfriend say, 'There are so many eyes!' She was looking all around the room, and she looked very overwhelmed. There were tears in her eyes and she sat up straight in the bed and kept crying. When I looked at her face it changed shape in a weirder way than I have seen people's faces change on LSD or shrooms. It got huge and lumpy and then looked kind of elfish. I thought this was strange and not really all that cool, but it didn't bother me. I guess a similar thing was happening to me from her perspective though, because she said the entities were stealing my body.
Now, I believe that her trying to fall asleep was a mistake. I have read about the cycles of DMT metabolism and production that occur naturally in the body, and supposedly right before you fall asleep is when this occurs the most. I believe she almost fell asleep and then all the DMT hit her at once. Because, as she descibed a little later on, apparently a huge number of entities entered her body and exploded. She desribed it as an 'assault' and apparently it was relentless.
I suggested we take a walk around the house, because that seemed to help me. So we went upstairs and she sat down on the stairs while I wandered around for a little while. A backpack on the floor turned into some kind of lion, briefly. I looked into a dark doorway and I knew there was a lot going on inside that dark room that I could not see. I tried to will myself to go check it out, but I could not. I knew whatever was in there would be too convincing and I was still completely unsure what the intention of this drug and the forces/entities it brought forth were.
My girl was having her mind blown, but not in a good way. It was too intense. She described meeting an alien family that was desperately trying to communicate with her, and they took control of her senses (vision, hearing, touch) to try to do this. But all she heard was buzzing and all she felt, apparently, was pain. She said they were learning as the trip progressed and stealing her energy.
Because somehow I had broken free of the anxiety and overwhelming nature of my own trip, I tried to give her many words of advice.
She described many, many playful and mischievous entities which were constantly bothering her, but she didn't know what they were trying to do. I remember reading on the Ayahuasca forums that many experienced travelers believed these were a simple nuisance, and that they should be ignored because they distract from the true lesson of the trip. Since I was totally lucid (she was too) I told this to her. I also told her many other suggestions on how to reclaim her stolen power, and what the point of her troubles might be. Some of these things seemed to help her, and she nodded and seemed to incorporate my knowledge into her neverending struggle, but apparently the entities she was facing were much more experienced in this realm and they were constantly tricking her and outwitting her.
I realized, this is no psychedelic trip. Mushrooms, LSD, mescaline... those were trips. They altered the nature of the existing world around me. Oral DMT brings another universe, or several universes simultaneously, right to my doorstep. It takes experience to navigate several dimensions simultaneously. I believe DMT is a serious tool for shamans.
Now, I didn't have the same problems my girlfriend did. I already believe that objects have their own energy and consciousness, even if it is a shared energy and consciousness, so I found my ability to witness and feel this extremely fascinating. Everything looked so beautiful and alive. I looked at a painting of a forest and the trees were dancing in it. They just looked so happy to me, and I could feel a small part of myself projected into their world. I didn't personally find this threatening at all.
The visuals I experienced were not the strongest I've ever had. I've had slightly more vivid CEVs on mushrooms, and stronger OEVs on a few other trips. But what I saw was totally beautiful, bright, crisp, and alive. I can't compare the visuals to other psychedelics. I previously thought LSD visuals were realistic but this takes the cake.
My body felt absolutely better than on any other psychedelic drug I've ever had. No nausea. No muscle tension. No body load at all! In fact I felt fluid, buzzing with energy (but not tense stimulated energy, flowing energy), and warm and fuzzy. However, I can't say that I learned anything from this trip, except about the nature of DMT and the potential for parallel universes. I did not meet my power animal. I did not get any words of wisdom from a cool entity. I did not have any great realizations. Perhaps it was because I spent much of my trip trying to keep my girlfriend grounded and comforted.
The comedown was both gradual and rapid at the same time. The strong effects dropped off almost instantly after about 4-5 hours. But the mild effects remained until I fell asleep (which happened very easily, and I got a long and restful sleep... hooray!) and seem to be still with me today as I write this.
The depth of DMT was not what I expected. I was almost like a sober traveler in a strange world. For much of the trip I could have been in public and not had a problem, except for my massive pupils. I will do this again, at the same dose, but in a much more 'ritualistic' setting. I don't know if I will bring anyone with me or not.
Absolutely fascinating stuff. No negative effects to speak of, except the possibility of not being able to handle the intensity. If would suggest having a mushroom ego-loss experience under your belt before trying oral DMT, because DMT will rip away the ego much quicker and more unexpectedly than shrooms will. This didn't happen to me, but it almost did, and even though I've lost my ego on psychedelics before, I wasn't quite ready for it. I would not suggest this for anyone seeking a recreational trip. Yes it can be lots of fun, really enjoyable, but I don't feel like *I* was the one controlling a DMT 'trip'. There seems to be something, or lots of things, on the other end... and every time one takes DMT they get to trip too.
.... 'whoa, earth! It's so crazy, matter bonds itself together, it's so normal! Trippy!' ...
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