Erowid Relies on Donations From Visitors Like You
Devil in Powder Form
by surfergirl
Citation:   surfergirl. "Devil in Powder Form: An Experience with Cocaine (exp47341)". Oct 15, 2020.

  repeated insufflated Cocaine


I'm 17, a junior in high school, from a middle class family, in all AP classes... I guess the total opposite when you imagine 'cokehead' but I was.

I started dabbling in drugs when I was 16;;weed at first, then xanax, shrooms, oxy, morphine, you get the idea. I was dating a guy who was the biggest druggie in our city, and thats probably what gave me the opportunity.

I have never forgotten the first time I did it;; he cut the line, and I kneeled down to snort it. I went home feeling a bit FAST but nothing too weird.

Next day I bought a 20 sac, and did the whole thing. Not too much of an affect, once again. This was probably my downfall. I assumed if it didn't make me feel 'like God' ((the description my boyfreind gave me)) than I had no chance of getting addicted.

I started buying it when I had an extra 20 dollars to spare. I told concerned friends I was only buying it once every 2 weeks, and wasnt in love with it either.

Of course, this was only the truth for about the first 2 weeks.

The thing about coke is I didn't have to love it;;I completely HATE the feeling. Everything got so fast. I was paranoid. I'd pace my room for 6 hours at a time. Sometimes I'd talk too much, other times I couldn't bring myself to talk at all, while thoughts rushed through my head at light speed. I just needed to do it every 10 minutes, even though every line I added made it worse. I finished sacs faster, bought more, went from 2 lines every 20 minutes to 7 lines. My friend and I would do it;; we'd discuss the repercussions, I'd feel fast but not happy, and that was it. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, and had a stuffy nose constantly.

Then things got worse, and I finally realized I was addicted. I'd swear to stop, and buy it the next day. I stole money from people constantly, I pawned my items, I shoplifted... I remember doing coinstar for money to buy it, and once paying my dealer with golden dollars I had stored away in my room. I stayed up all night and was completely listless in the day. I stayed out all weekend to the horror of my parents, and worried them sick.

Finally, last summer I went to a camp for 2 weeks. I relapsed once, and after a couple lines I realized I still hated the feeling, but more than that, I hated how I had been.

I washed it down the drain, and that is my biggest accomplishment ever.

Cocaine turned me into a selfish, lying, cheating monster. I never want to be the way I was on that;;its truly the devil.

Exp Year: 1ExpID: 47341
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 15, 2020Views: 403
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
Cocaine (13) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults