Citation: Jlw. "Absolute Solitude and the Erasing of My Mentality: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp47783)". Erowid.org. Jun 7, 2006. erowid.org/exp/47783
I had smoked salvia divinorum in the past on four occasions, but was still excited to do so once again. At the time, I had felt at least somewhat conscious of what was going on, and still had some recollection of what I was doing. But nothing even remotely close to the intensity of what was about to come upon me.
I had exactly enough Salvia Divinorum 10x Extraction for one, quite large, bong rip. I had absolutely no idea that such a small amount of substance could have such a powerful effect on my brain and mind. It had been early in the day so I decided to wait until evening, which I could dedicate to my experience. It was 6:00 PM, so I decided it was time for the bong to be loaded, and I continued to pack the crumbly substance into the bowl. I had a seat in my most comfortable armchair and proceeded on. I had also set the mood with some Pink Floyd and played 'Us and Them.' I was ready for the insanity to unfold.
I began to light the bowl, torching the substance thoroughly. I inhaled deeply, making sure that I had taken the largest possible bong rip I could, and held the smoke in for around thirty seconds.
I then exhaled slowly. In a matter of seconds, I began to feel extremely unusual and heavy, almost like some mysterious gravitational force was pulling at all parts of my body. I instantly felt as a mollasses man, dredging through the Earth with my droopy self. I tried to speak, but was returned with a laugh on which I could not end. I thought, 'Hey, this isn't so bad, it's just like the times in the past.' Then, BAM - I was instantly unaware of anything in my surroundings, and had no idea whatsoever of who, what, or where I was. I had no recollection of what I was or why I was this, and lost total sense of all language. I no longer thought in words and objects relating to those words. I thought in ideas, sounds, and pictures - not in words of language.
I was the most confused and out of my mind than I had ever been in my entire life, all in a matter of seconds. Seconds in a time that did not exsist to me at that point. I was a being of nothing, and nothing of a being. I had lost control and rememberance of everything I had ever known. Absolutley everything. It was almost like a mindtrap, sucking me in and making me feel as if I would never turn back to normal. But perhaps this IS normal, and what we see in sobriety is simply an illusion. I was stuck this way for the rest of my life as this 'being' of some sort. I was truly out of my mind, or so I thought. What happened next was unexplainable.
I recall myself walking through my house searching for something; a something that did not exsist. This something was who and what I was. I began desperatley searching every room of my house, searching for my mentality as it was some sort of object! Yet, I still had this state of mind that allowed me to percieve things through things other than language. This was definitley a weird, almost scary type of feeling. I went on looking through out my house and entered the last room - my bedroom. I walked through my door and see myself sitting in my chair! In perfect color, picture, and detail that it was definitley my own body that was sitting before me! Thid means I had never left my own room at all. I had the vivid hallucination of wondering throughout my home, leading to the sight of my physical self dead in front of me! I was confused at this perception, but still calm towards it. I remember little else of the peak of the experience, besides being deeply confused of everything in my environment and surroundings.
Suddenly, everything I had ever known, was was returned to my brain and mind. Memories, thoughts, and most importantly language, had all returned to normal. I had still felt a bit hazy, but for the most part my emotions had returned to normal. I was once again thinking normally, and had the use of words and language back into my posession of mind.
However, I still had plenty of physical effects surrounding me. Once again, I had felt like the mollasses man I had felt like earlier, but twice as intense as the previous feeling. I felt extremely itchy all over, almost tingling but not quite. It was quite simlar to wearing a wool sweater on my bare back. I then felt my skin cringe up and then release itself bringing the most sweat I have ever released in one time out of my body. I felt very uncomfortable as a mixture of skin, sweat and hallucinated itch engulfed my body.
I opened my window in hopes of refreshment. Soon, I felt extremely drowsy and needed absolute quiet. I turned the music off and layed on my bed, and shut my eyes. I could see pictures beneath my eyelids, but only vague and abstract. Not enough to consider closed-eye visuals. I relaxed for about ten minutes until I had felt the urge to get up and recall my experience. Many memories were difficult to remember, but this absence of memory only added to the intensity of the trip. I was completely back to normal, all just in under forty minutes, peak lasting at around ten. I thought to myself, 'Wow.'
Salvia Divinorum is, by far, the most intense mind altering substance that has ever entered my body. There was a total erase of all mental capability and all things known to me. It made me realize the mentality I had been in at the peak of the trip, which almost scared me. Overall, it was a great mind expanding experience, and helped me realize another end of the psychoactive drug spectrum. It truly was absolute solitude and the total erase of mentality.
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