DOSE:	repeated	inhaled	Inhalants	(gas)
		smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)
		smoked	Cannabis	(tar / resin)

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

Well I have had experiences with computer duster before, maybe I even submitted a report, I'm not sure. Either way every time I do it something more fucked up happens.

Just a little background...I'm 16, I like to write, and I'm a huge pothead. I dabble into other shit like MDMA, shrooms, and opiates on occasion...but mostly I just smoke weed. Also I'm going to say my name is John, even though it isn't, just to through the government off in thier worldwide search for me. My name is John. Bastards.

So yet again I'm stuck with barely any weed and a huge urge to get high, so I pulled out some good 'ol computer duster. It's funny, there's such a huge hesitation to take that first hit because of how unhealthy it is, but after that I can keep hitting it for an hour without a second thought.

Anyhow, it started all to similar to former experiences. That first kinda-bad tasteing hit, the exhale, and then BOOM, the numbness starts.

Somehow, whenever I experience it, I think that while in a sober state, the amazingness of this high can't even be imagined...and yet I can't exactly tell whats so intense about it. It's just a rush I guess.

Anyhow, after listning to distorted music and talking to my friends about random shit on the computer, I must have decided to lie down on my concrete floor, because next thing I know thats where I am, still sucking all those juicy toxins from the can.

Thank god for the sickness this drug gives me. All of a sudden my entire body just feels shitty, I guess it's kinda like a hangover, but more intense. I got up from the ground and realized I had broken off a peice of the can (the trigger that makes the air shoot out), but somehow I still managed to take hits from it.

If it weren't for this sickness -for me at least- it would be impossible to put the can down. See, I don't just take a few hits and enjoy a 5 minute high, I am constantly inhaling it, taking a breath of regular air after every few hits.

This sickness is pretty much my body snapping my mind out of its only comprehensive thought: Keep taking hits! Althought it is common, for me at least, to continue using it after this sickness subsides, at least it puts me in a sober state for a few minutes to reconsider the horrible thing I was doing to my body.

I'd say it was about an hour after starting that this sickness hit me, but I had only used half a can, meaning that I probably passed out a few times during that time. This is one of those drugs where I can't remember what I've done seconds earlier, so like I'll be on the floor and the last thing I can remember was sitting on the computer typing...it's fucked.

Anyhow, my first logical thought as I put the can down was to take a piss. I really didn't feel like walking far, so I just pissed in a nearby sink, and after that proceeded to puke in the same place. Damn puking feels good while fucked on this thing for some reason.

Anyhow this is where I just lost it. I was hit with a slew of depression, while still feeling this horrible sickness. I soaked my head in freezing water and wrapped a towel around it, and proceeded to run around my house looking for something to get high off of -I was definately done with the duster.

By this point I must have looked like a wreck, reeking of puke, drenched in water, and running around franticly while looking for some type of dangerouse chemcial. I wish I had this on tape so I could show people the lows a completely normal kid (well maybe not) could go to get drugs.

Upon going into my room, I found a bunch of weed crumbs on my night table, so I smoked them. After this I smoked a bunch of Q-tips with pipe resin on them, and then smoked another large crumb which ended up not being weed. It was really really sad. After this I crouched on my floor to look for more weed crumbs, a common act for coke addicts (with coke of course). After no sucess I stood up, and slammed my head hard onto an open dresser drawer (sp??). I was more mentally embarrased than anything, I really didn't mind pain. But it just added to my distress and frustration.

I just wanted to get fucked up, the duster had left me so depressed and sick that I just wanted to forget it all and waste away. Then I decided suicide seemed like a logical solution, because the small amount of weed I smoked hadn't helped, and there was nothing else in my house that would fuck me up.

Now I must say I've only considered suicide twice before this, so this was a big deal. I actually pulled out a knife and everything, but in the end I was too pussy to do it, and I remembered how it would fuck up my family. I decided to slit my palm for good measure (first time I've ever intentionally cut myself), and I must admit I don't see what people get out of that, but whatever.

Well thats about it, after the hangover wore off I calmed down a bit, I think the little amount of weed I smoked had helped with that, and 15 minutes after sobering up I left for work.

I've only done it about 5 times, and haven't noticed any effects, but I'm sure they're there. I'd say I'm never going to do it again, but I've said that every time I've done it, so who knows, next time I run out of weed I'll probably fuck myself over some more...oh well.

Peace

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 48186
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 16
Published: Jun 23, 2007	Views: 34,818
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Inhalants (29) : Alone (16), Hangover / Days After (46), Depression (15), Difficult Experiences (5)