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Still in the Depths of a Depression
MDMA & DXM (with CPM)
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Citation:   submit this. "Still in the Depths of a Depression: An Experience with MDMA & DXM (with CPM) (exp48214)". Erowid.org. Dec 13, 2018. erowid.org/exp/48214

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
1 hit oral MDMA  
  T+ 3:30 240 mg oral DXM (pill / tablet)
  T+ 3:30 32 mg oral Chlorpheniramine Maleate (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb


[Erowid Note: Most Coricidin contains CPM (Chlorpheniramine Maleate) which can be dangerous in high doses. See DXM Brand Warnings for more info.]

I've had many experiences on seperate occasions with both DXM and MDMA. I had never mixed the two because I had read the results could be fatal. 1 month ago I found my self in a downward spiralling depression and didn't care if I ended up dead any way, so decided to try this combination.

I had taken some MDMA earlier in the week.

7:30 pm : I took one hit of pure MDMA. I had bought two hits from the dealer and tried one earlier in the week. It left me rolling for a good 12 hours before the crash. Strong shit. (I was smoking cannabis constantly through this trip mind you)

8:30 : I find myself in the midst of a strong ass ecstacy roll. Everything was perfect. I should take the DXM soon, see how it affects things.

10:30 : I am having such a good time with my friend L that I had lost any idea of the time. 'Oh shit, 3 hours? I'll take it soon I guess.'

11:00 : I ingested 8 triple C's (240 mg DXM) and waited.

11:30 : Holy shit am I sick. I puke once in the toilet and feel much better. Laying with my head over the toilet seat, another 15 minutes pass.

11:45 : Head still hanging over the toilet. Everytime I close my eyes I find myself somewhere else. I spend the next half an hour believing I am rowing a canoe through a field of grass.

12:30 : I finally gather my strength and decide to get up and see my friends L and S who were waiting in the living room for me to get better. They are only smoking pot, being my trip sitters. They checked on me every few minutes, but I had told them I needed to be alone. As I stand up the physical effects I usually get from taking 20 triple c's (600 mg) rush through my body. I can barely balance, and every time I lean my head on the wall I can't help but close my eyes and find myself somewhere else for 10 minutes or so. At this point I lost track of the time, but I'll do my best to guesstimate.

1 am : All nausea subsides by this point. I really start to enjoy myself. I watch my hands as I move them up and down and play with them. I feel like I'm watching an animated movie.

I start watching the cooking channel, but I can't take it. The host talks too fast, his jokes are too complex and genius for me, he is above me surely.

I tried to eat an apple, but it tasted like rubber. Everything I tasted was like rubber, I didn't like that. Nausea coming back after I eat, I decide its not a good idea to take in food for now.

I go into a dark room. This was the best part. L brought a flash light with her and starts lighting it spontaneously. Its the most brilliant light show I'd ever witnessed. I am lucky as hell.

I go to sleep at around 4 in the morning. The physical effects are winding down, I find myself much less spacey, but strong euphoria is present. The next day I felt great.

Later that week I found myself in a deeper depression than before and was going to kill myself. I told L what I felt like and decided to admit myself to a psychiatric hospital to keep myself from doing something ridiculous.

Conclusion:
All in all it was a great experience while it lasted, but left me in a depression I am still in the depths of over a month later. I have remained steadily suicidal in that I think death sounds great right now, but am giving antidepressants and therapy a shot only because my suicide would destroy my family. We'll see what happens.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 48214
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 13, 2018Views: 485
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MDMA (3), DXM (22) : Depression (15), Hangover / Days After (46), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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