Citation: Overanalytical. "The Sword Is Sharp on Both Sides: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp48376)". Erowid.org. Jun 15, 2007. erowid.org/exp/48376
I've always been a fan of stimulants (and pretty much any class of drugs in general), with much experience with Adderall, Dexedrine, Ritalin, Ephedra, Cocaine and of course Nicotine and Caffeine.
Anyhow, as I was diagnosed with ADD and Bipolar when I was in seventh grade (I'm a college junior now), I see a shrink occasionally. The particular doctor I see must have got his PHD out of a cracker jack box or something, because he knows almost nothing of pharmaceuticals. Needless to say he is very easy to manipulate, and I have received prescriptions for many controlled substances from him very easily.
So after reading up on methamphetamine, and putting together a good line of BS to give my doctor as to why I needed to try it for my ADD, I went to his office and in under 10 minutes had him writing me a prescription for 'desoxyn'.
It took the pharmacy a week to special order it for me, as it is highly controlled in it's distribution, but I finally received my bottle containing 60 pills, 5mg each.
The following report is my first 3 days on meth:
My girlfriend who had driven me to the pharmacy brought me back to my dorm, and dropped me off. I went to my room, and pondered taking one of the small white meth pills I'd just received from the pharmacy. It was 8pm already, and I realized that indulging in my curiosity would most likely mean me not sleeping much that night. Well, they say curiosity killed the cat, and if I were a cat I would be dead. I popped the pill in my mouth and swallowed. I then started talking to friends online for a while.
T+0:05 - I think I feel it coming on, a slight euphoric feeling in the chest area, thoughts running a bit faster...most likely placebo effects
T+0:25 - I realize I am typing lightning fast on my keyboard as I talk to about 4 people online simultaneously. I also feel compelled to send instant messages to some old acquaintances I almost never talk to anymore.
T+0:30 - My roommate arrives and I give him one of my new pills, he takes it, and I try explaining what it does, but he's having trouble understanding my words because I am talking so fast. Note that I am a very fast talker naturally, so even a minor dose of speed pushed my speech rate into overdrive.
T+0:50 - Ok, as any speed user who smokes cigarettes knows, being on speed makes me crave cigarettes with an undying passion. So I decide to go out for a cigarette. I end up smoking 3 while out there. As I stood by the door to the building smoking, I acted like a friggin wal-mart greeter, saying hi to everyone who came out or went in. I chatted excitedly with my fellow members of the cancer club as I like to call them (The never ending hoard of college students sitting out by the door smoking cigarettes).
T+1:00 - At this point I feel effects have peaked. I'm really sociable, and my body feels full of energy, a slight tingle can be felt at this point as well. At this point I'm feeling a little disappointed with my new drug. It seems to me that 5mg of Meth is no different really than 20mg of Adderall.
T+4:00 - After a while of cleaning my room, and playing a video game, the effects seem to have worn off, and I'm left feeling rather blank and mildly depressed. Your typical amphetamine crash, except my body also feels really worn out. At this point I feel that all the effort I put in trying to get the meth was wasted, because I didn't really find it much better nor different than Adderall, except more of a body buzz. Oddly enough I have the urge to take more meth even though I wasn't too thrilled with it. I resist the temptation, drink some Nyquil, and go to bed. Oddly, sleep came easy. Even with Nyquil I usually can't sleep well at all after taking amphetamines.
I take one 5mg pill in the morning, and head to class. I get the same mild stimulant effects I mentioned above, but unlike Adderall, I don't seem the least bit interested in class. Adderall can make even the most boring class interesting to me. So basically I was just talky and fidgety all morning in my classes.
After I got out of class I received a phone call from a friend of mine saying he is on his way to my dorm with 'enough booze to kill an ox', and that 'we've got a long night of binge drinking ahead of us'. So at about 9pm, The meth is way out of my system, and I start drinking. By 11pm, I am completely shitfaced and on the verge of blacking out from the booze. Here's where things get ugly: Somewhere around 1am I get in a fight with my girlfriend over something stupid, and she storms out of my room saying she'll be back in a few hours when I'm more sober. This is the part where, had my life been a cartoon, the demon would appear over my left shoulder saying 'Hey, snort some meth, it will sober you up and you'll be fine to work out this issue with her in no time!!!', and the angle would pop up over my right shoulder saying 'No don't do that you idiot, do you want to take a heart attach from mixing uppers and downers’? Five minutes later I'm crushing up six pills on my desk (5mgX6pills=30mg of Meth). I pull out a dollar bill and mow through the pile of powder like a plow truck in a snowy parking lot.
T+0:01 - This shit burns. Really bad. Tastes terrible too if it drips down the throat.
T+0:02 - The meth hits me like a freight train. My body feels almost electric, and deceivingly very powerful like I could go outside and throw a car across the parking lot or something. My mind starts to race, and I am starting to realize what a fool I am for doing 6 times the initial dose I had tried the day before, let alone snorting it all too. I also REALLY crave a cigarette. I head outside and literally suck down my cigarette in a matter of seconds, you gotta love the bronchodilator effects of amphetamines. I feel a bit shaky, and am still very drunk.
T+0:05 - I come back inside and sit down. I notice that I am no where near as drunk as I had been before snorting the meth, in fact, I was feeling as if I'd only had a few shots, not the excessive amount of hard liquor I actually drank. I call my girlfriend, and tell her to come to my room so we can talk our problem out.
When she arrives, I am immediately turned on by her outfit she is wearing, and feel a surge of hornyness go through me. I don't know if it was the meth or the fact that I'm your typical sex obsessed male, but I really wanted some action. Anyway, long story short, we talked it over, I apologized, and as the meth began to wear off that night, the drunkenness started to return until I passed out and went to bed.
DAY 3 (the day I am also writing this report)
I've had a hectic day today, and I ate my meth pills like candy. I'd estimate about 60mg total throughout the day. I'm really strung out right now. I've come to realize stress and meth don't mix. I was under a lot of stress today to get some projects done for school, and the stress of that mixed with the meth I've taken today resulted in me being extremely moody, irritable, strung out, and down right aggressive. I picked a fight with my girlfriend, and basically was a dick to all my friends. The littlest things enraged me, like having to wait in line for dinner and such.
At times I even felt violent, just wanting to punch a few holes in the wall for no reason. I felt like a car speeding way past the speed limit on a rainy day: fast, chaotic, and reckless.
I've come to the conclusion that meth is not a good choice for me, as I get rather stressed out a lot. The way I see it, is that meth can be a good time if enjoyed in a stress free environment. It can also be a bad time if I am in a terrible mood. I also find it not to be a good study aid either, lacking giving me the ability to focus. I'm going to stick to my adderall and dexerine. They're better study aids, I don't feel the need to eat them like candy, and at high enough doses they provide similar effects.
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