I Fell Off The Horse And Got Right Back Up
by Jack Daniel
Citation:   Jack Daniel. "I Fell Off The Horse And Got Right Back Up: An Experience with Cocaine (exp48421)". Erowid.org. Jan 10, 2018. erowid.org/exp/48421

  repeated insufflated Cocaine (daily)


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The first time I encountered cocaine was in my junior year of High School. It was Spring Break and my buddies and I decided we'd take a break from boozing and smoking pot, so we picked up a half gram of the white horse. Anxious as hell, we quickly drove to a remote neighborhood and spread the stuff out into lines on a textbook. We railed it all within minutes. Immediately, we felt the effects, tasted the drip, and began feeling our teeth. It was amazing. We were all stoned when sniffing the powder, and I was the driver. My attention was on the road, the music and nothing else. After about twenty minutes, we decided it would be the right thing to do to pick up a gram. We did so, snorting it all. We were jacked.

My first experience left my mouth watering, anticipating more. I began buying it from my friend by the eighths. At this point, my parents told me I had to stop smoking pot, so I figured this stuff is around, why not switch over, then, when the heat is off, I'll start smoking again. I got a job at a local music store, working four or five days a week. An eighth would last me about three days. My routine was wake up, have a couple lines, smoke a cigarette, and relax, maybe play some guitar. I was blowing tons of money for the rush I got my first time, not realizing it would never happen again. I began buying higher quality stuff with the same result. I would go out to party with my friends, all of whom were drinking. I would just sneak into the bathroom about ten times per night and rattle off two or three lines. My friends began informing me that I had a problem, so I began spending much of my time at my house, watching movies and snorting cocaine.

I finally realized that I had a problem when I attempted to take some money out of the ATM, only to find that I had spent $1500 on cocaine in three months, and truthfully, probably closer to $2500 because I stole from my parents and ripped off my friends when selling to them. So, I stopped.

Getting off the white horse has proven to be the most difficult task of my life. After three days I stole eighty bucks from my mother and hopped right back on. That first gram only lasted me one night. I told myself it was just for old times sake. Once again, my will was not as powerful as my wants. I continued using
Once again, my will was not as powerful as my wants. I continued using
, doing it about three times a week with a close friend. I finally slayed the beast at the end of Christmas, after habitual use for about a year.

I still fall back into my old ways. Even today, two years after quitting. I have done literally every drug you can name, at least all of the drugs that I could get my hands on. I did heroin to try and get off cocaine, unsuccessfully I might add. Quitting heroin was easy, cocaine is impossible. Every day of the year I think about cocaine, knowing the good times we had together. I guess the only reason I quit is all my resources got tapped out and now I am on federal probation for a drug charge, so none of my friends will let me get blown, though many of them have solid cocaine connections. Looking back was it worth it? Absolutely not. But would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Good night, and good luck.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 48421
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jan 10, 2018Views: 661
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Cocaine (13) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)

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