Citation: sunfireshine. "Downward Week: An Experience with Clonazepam & Alcohol (exp48565)". Erowid.org. Nov 22, 2018. erowid.org/exp/48565
After thanksgiving break I came back to school with a perscription for celexa (an ssri for eventual treatment of seasonal depression) and 1 mg. Pills of clonzepam. I was perscribed both in high school when I really was depressed and anxious, but they are mostly preventative this time.
My social situation at school was already a bit confused, but drinking and benzos made me crazy! I blacked out for hours that I was awake and did things I don't remember. I made out with one of my best friends and didn't even realize it until it was happening. I was completely detached. 'out of body' but in a pretty destructive way. It makes me feel like I'm not really in the place or body that I am. (and I woke up with some cuts on my arms that are apparently self inflicted... Which I have never done before this experience)
After reading about benzos on rxlist I realize that the irritability and anxiety yet fatigue I am feeling now was probably caused by my week of excess and the reprecussions of chemically-induced low anxiety. It's not so fun to come out of. I'm trying to do work now and really, I just want to be dreaming.
Love,
Sfs.
[Author estimates taking between 1 and 3 mg of clonazepam per night]
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