Citation: sudafed. "I Was Engulfed in a Strong, Confident Feeling: An Experience with Cocaine (exp48604)". Erowid.org. Jul 5, 2018. erowid.org/exp/48604
||(powder / crystals)
I decided on my own that I wanted to try blow, but that doesn't mean anything. Its really not that much better than being pressured into it. I talked to a few friends that had done it and I decided that I wanted to see what it felt like. So this past summer, I tried a few lines at a local hangout parking lot. I was told that the stuff was cut really badly and not good stuff to try for my first time.
About two weeks or so later there came an opportunity to get some really great blow. I think about 7 of us put our money together and got 2 grams. That gave us 3 fat lines each. 'Oh my god I feel it so strong' was the jumbled up sentence that came out of my mouth as I smiled and sat comfortably in my friend's BMW. I, like some others, expected there to be a single feeling of bliss that would 'hit' me, kind of like with weed. Instead, I was engulfed in a strong, confident feeling that was quite euphoric. It eventually ended after 40-50 minutes, and I remember all of us asking for more, not able to believe there wasn't any more left.
The comedown was hard, I found myself asking questions like 'why am I doing this to myself' or 'why can't I just be happy without drugs'. Another thing I noticed about the comedown was that it wasn't very gradual. I felt sad and irritable during the comedown, and all of a sudden about an hour later I was normal as though I hadn't even done any coke, I just felt tired.
Anyway, its about 3 months since I first tried blow and I've done it about 5 times in total. I can definetely see how easy it is to slip into dependence as I convince myself more and more that I'm in control. I think another thing that contributes to the ease of falling into a coke addiction is the fact that its so convinient and concealable. I don't reek of coke, I don't have to run outside to do it. I try to tell my friends every time I do it, because in case I do go over the edge I know they'll step in and put me in my place. Coke's dangerous, but it can be great fun as long as I maintain my priorities in life.
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