Citation: Failee. "High Highs, Scary Lows: An Experience with MDMA (exp49120)". Erowid.org. Sep 27, 2020. erowid.org/exp/49120
||(pill / tablet)
A friend and I aquired two tablets of X, and were both excited and a little bit nervous upon actually taking them, as it was the first time for both of us. We came to my house after a short day at school, ate a little bit of salad because we were both unsure if it would be a bad idea to take E on an empty stomach.
After we each downed our tabs (at around 3:00), we set up my Christmas tree, listening to various types of rock and metal (as that's what both of us are primarily into), but neither of us was really feeling anything. About 30 minutes after dropping, we had to babysit her two younger sisters. Neither of us was feeling anything, so we figured it would be alright. There was a point while we were watching the kids, (she was on the computer, and the kids and I were watching TV) when my friend asked me how to play Minesweeper. This is actually when I started to feel it. I was smiling and giggling a little bit and generally feeling nice, but she showed absolutely no sign of feeling the same.
After she'd gotten the hang of Minesweeper, we went to her room, and put on some poppy 90's music, and I started to dance and she was lying at the floor, grinning and looking at the flashing Christmas lights she'd hung in her room. Her parents came home, and we ran back to my house. I only live across the street, but running was an amazing thing. The jingling of her belt, and the chain on my purse got us laughing because we felt like Santa's Reindeer and I felt like I could run forever.
We no longer had any interest in rock music, and switched to purely trance and techno. This is when I felt the first mental change. I really felt like I loved everything. I hugged my friend, and told her that even though sometimes I hate her, I love her to death, and after 15 years of friendship, I was glad that we could have that experience together. I called my friends who live in the States (I'm from Canada) and reminded them how glad I was that we were friends. I think my catch phrase of that day was 'I've never loved ____ so much until this exact moment!' Which was exactly how I felt! I loved everything and everyone so much during my high.
We danced a lot, and the only thing I knew when I was dancing was this it felt better than anything else I'd ever felt. I kept thinking about all the great things that I'd do the next time I was on E. About the people I'd do it with. It was wonderful.
The comedown was especially hard on me. As soon as I felt the euphoria lessen, I was considerably downed. I reminded myself several times that it was only the drug wearing off, and there wasn't any real reason for me to be upset about it. I was coming off of a great trip, that was all. But that didn't help. My mood dropped far below usual. My friend went home approximately 8:30, so we had a good 4 hour trip.
I was sad a little bit for the rest of the evening, but the less I thought about how sad I was, the less I felt it. I went to bed a little down, but not anything like I was right after coming down. The next day was much worse though.
All day I didn't feel depressed, just a little bit sad. My head felt funny, and my eyes hurt. I didn't feel like doing much, and I knew that it was all just an after effect, and it would be gone in just a little while.
I had to babysit that night. It went well, until about 12:00 midnight, after the kids were fast asleep. I was laying on the couch, watching late night TV, and suddenly I got very, very paranoid. My eyes hurt and so did my back (that may just have been from all the dancing) and the lights coming off of the Christmas tree burned my eyes and seemed to glow in an eerie way, and felt very menacing. I was in a mild state of panic, and was walking around trying to convince myself that yes, I was here. The mental is connected to the physical. I stared at the mirror, and was wondering if I was going crazy. I touched my face, and felt it. It was a reminder that I was still there. Walking felt strange. I had to make sure I stepped soundly, planting every foot down. I sat down on the couch and assured myself over and over again that this was just an after effect.
It was scary. I thought I'd gone crazy.
I took a nap on the couch, and when the kids parents got home, the tree still looked weird, and walking was still awkward, but I felt sane. The day after, I felt absolutely fine. After that one night, I haven't felt strange at all.
All in all, I'd like to do X again. The high was amazing, and I adore the sensation, no matter how artificial it seems. I can handle the down.
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