DOSE:

repeated

smoked

Methamphetamine

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

I first tried meth by snorting a small line in my car. A person from school gave me enough to make a small line that would be good for a first time user. The feeling was slight, but it felt somewhat like cocaine. I never tried it until about a month later.

The second time trying crystal was when I smoked it out of the infamous glass dick, or glass pipe. It was my first time smoking it and I had to have the people I was with hold the pipe for me. I inhaled and got two good sized hits when it hit me. A warm tingling sensation all over my body. Euphoria and happiness, nothing was wrong at the time. I smoked a cigarette and each time I inhaled the tobacco smoke, I got an even more intense rush of warmness and tingling. I was told that the meth that I had just smoked wasn't even good, but I was spun nonetheless.

The next time I smoked it was at a party about another month later. I was up all night at the party, stoned, drunk and tired. The original plan was to get some cocaine, but when we heard that we could get some crystal meth, I decided that since it was available now and that I was tired, I wanted to smoke it. So, at about 4:30 in the morning, our dub sack arrives and we go into the fifth-wheel trailer in the back of the party throwers house. Sitting with my two friends, an experienced tweaker that I had met a few times before and his dealer, we loaded up the pipe and began to pass it around.

After the first hit, I could definitely tell that this crystal was much purer than what I'd previously smoked. I got the same rushing, warm, tingling feeling, but after only two hits, it seemed to be magnified by about 10x of my previous experience. We smoked that bowl and smoked another small one after that. I only got a total of about 7-8 hits, but for only the second time smoking meth, it was satisfying. After we were done I felt extremely awake, in a very good mood and wanted to do something. We stepped out of the trailer and smoked a cigarette. By that time it was about sunrise and my friend and I decided to leave before everyone was awake.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

My friend and I drove to our mall parking lot, parked in a secluded spot and decided to smoke another small bowl before I drove him to church. I was already extremely hyped up and wanted to do anything to occupy myself. He warned against doing this, but I insisted and he smoked a little with me also. After the we smoked a small bowl of marijuana. We sat, talked, chilled for a while, then I drove him to church. I then drove home and went directly to my room to avoid contact with my parents.

I lay down in my bed and told them that I'd stayed up too late at the party and was tired. I was tired but I was also too hyped up to sleep. Then I got very hot, started panicking and started seeing heat waves in my field of vision. I lay in my bed for about 3 hours just trying to control my breathing and not do anything to strenuous. After about 3 hours I finally fell asleep.

After having this frightening experience, I vowed that I'd never do meth again. I also understood why my friend told me not to smoke anymore today. I came to the conclusion that the meth was much stronger than I thought, especially being an inexperienced user.

Fast forward to about two months, and there I was smoking meth again. I found my own hookup that would hook me up quite plentifully. This is when my life started going downhill, but I didn't realize it yet. Those two experiences are the most memorable experiences on meth and they are what made me want to keep doing it.

In February of 2005, I started using more frequently, since I had my own dealer. Long story short, I lost my current dealer but could always find another one in a week at the very most. I wasn't doing very well in school, but I decided that I could use meth to my advantage. I smoked a little bit every night to help me get my homework done, because previously, I never had the motivation to do my homework. When I was on one, I always wanted to do it and for about three weeks, I saw that my grades actually went up. After about four to five weeks, is when the drugs effect on me started changing. I started smoking more to get high and I lost motivation to do my homework. I just smoked and did maybe one paper, then wound up smoking the rest of my sack.

I started getting addicted and subconsciously, I knew that if I didn't do something about it soon that I'd wind up in bad shape, but I loved smoking meth so much, twisting that little glass pipe was so much fun. I could never admit to myself that I was going to become very badly addicted.

I started stealing money from my parents to get meth. I went to my back and would get cash to buy meth. I even took my paychecks from work, cashed them immediately and went and bought at least half an 8-ball each time I got a check. My $250 paycheck would last me usually no longer than about 5-6 days. I'd deposit $50 of it but wound up taking it out again anyways.

I know that some people have been addicted far worse than I was, but I was only using for about 3 months straight. At the end of May 2005, my parents sent me to a boarding school so that I could get my life back on track. I know that if I had never been sent, I'd be stealing a lot more than just money from my parents. I'd be stealing things to get money. I know I would have because I was addicted. I still am.

I am writing this report in December of 2005, a little over a year when I first tried smoking meth and I still have thoughts of smoking it. I'm still addicted and will be for my whole life. Once an addict, always an addict. I have not touched meth since I have returned from the boarding school, but it is always tempting me. I know that if I do it again that I'll fall back into the same pattern again, only at a quicker and more destructive pace. My biggest fear is that I'll end up doing again thinking that I have enough self control and getting fucked up again.

I am trying my hardest to stay away from meth, but I will honestly not be surprised if I wind up an addict again.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 49217
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 8, 2008	Views: 22,983
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Methamphetamine (37) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)