Citation: Andrew. "I Don't Remember: An Experience with Alprazolam (exp49960)". Erowid.org. Jan 8, 2019. erowid.org/exp/49960
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
First off lets start with some backround. I am 16 years old. I have smoked marajuana countless times, tried LSD once, and experimented a few times with diphenhydramine and DXM. I am in a fairly good mindset, not too happy with life but not particularly sad, I just live by the day.
It was a saturday and I was visiting my mother in a seperate city from where I currently life. I brought along 8 bars (16mg) of xanax. I had a good day, eating a good meal and watching some humorous TV shows before my mother decided to go to sleep around 11 PM. At this time I decided I was ready to try the xanax. I pulled out one bar, crushed it with a razorblade, chopped it up really fine and snorted it with a bill. I then crushed up another half and snorted that as well.
The rest of the night I do not remember but somehow managed to talk to my girlfriend on the phone for a large portion of the experience. She told me that I was slurring my words very badly, as if drunk, and was talking about gibberish, rambling on about how I wanted to meet her mom. I then proceeded to do more xanax, despite my girlfriends attempts to stop me. I snorted 4 more bars and then hung up on her. Unfortunately, I am unable to give much more detail than that about my experience because I do not remember it at all, after the 3rd half of the bars (1 and a half) I have no reconciliation of the night whatsoever. The next day I awoke and still felt slower. After a long drive back to my house I opened my bag to find only 2 and a half bars and was of course very flustered. My initial reaction was 'oh shit! some of the bars fell out and I've lost them somewhere!' After a long period of searching I finally called my girlfriend and she told me everything. It was very hard to believe, in fact I still dont know how I managed to even call her because I do not know her number by memory at all. A symbol to express the night overall is a giant question mark. I do not know how I managed to call her, I dont remember saying any of the stuff I said, and I do not remember snorting 4 more bars.
I cant say if the experience was pleasurable or not because well, I dont really remember it at all. There was no vomiting or feeling of discomfort during the experience that I can remember. That night just seems like a blank part in my life.
Two days later I snorted a bar before school and had minimal results, just felt relaxed and somewhat tired, but my friends and teachers seemed to notice, making miniscule comments, one teacher even said I looked like I was 'on nyquil'. Its a fun drug if one wants to get a tape of themselves stumbling around, drooling, and saying stupid shit. But besides that I really dont find it that pleasurable. I either did too little and got minimal results, or did too much and forgot what I did. Despite all this downtalk im giving xanax, im having 30 bars delivered to my house today. I dont know why im getting these bars and I dont know why I do a large portion of the stuff I do, but something in my mind tells me I like xanax.
Ive done LSD, DXM, and diphenhydramine alone and would say xanax is the only drug I seriously think needs a sitter. I snorted 5 and a half bars my first time with intention of only doing one and a half. Be safe guys.
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